


Ligaments

by Rozlie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Fluff, Gang Violence, Gang Wars, Human Trafficking, M/M, Mentions of Abortion, Mentions of Rape, Mentions of self-harm, Mpreg, Not for the sensitive, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, SM Ensemble - Freeform, Separation Anxiety, Smut, Suicide Attempts, Super Junior ensemble - Freeform, Torture, Violence, Writer Reserves The Right To Be Trash, bottom!Yuta, so much swearing, top!Taeyong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-01-30 10:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12651756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rozlie/pseuds/Rozlie
Summary: During a raid against their rival’s compound, the gang NCT were suppose to infiltrate and kidnap a prominent member.Instead, they took a victim of sex trafficking and Taeyong will never be the same again.





	1. Ligament

**Author's Note:**

> ☤
> 
> Hey y'all. It's me, Rozlie!
> 
> This fic is filled with possible triggers. If I failed to name one PLEASE let me know. I'm so desensitized that I don't know what can trigger some one--so help a sister out. 
> 
> For some of you guys who don't know me or never read my fics before--please heed this clear warning:
> 
> ✓I ain't shit.  
> ✓I am trash. 
> 
> My only redeeming quality is that I'm nice. Keep this is in mind for the entire story. Also, I do _not_ write character deaths or non-con. 
> 
> Please feel free to drag my entire existence on twitter @koffeebuttr_
> 
> SO YAY, YA'LL LET'S ENJOY THIS JOURNEY!!!
> 
> ☤

\---

"I think we should return him," 

 

Mark spoke first after Johnny and Taeil dropped the person who they thought was the infamous Ryeowook the Red of Super Junior on the dining room table.

 

But it was _not_ Ryeowook the Red--not even Shingdong the Dong--it was a skinny, underfed, heavily-breathing, frail and unconscious young adult wearing Ryeowook's signature red Burberry trench coat and tattered boxers.

 

Taeyong scanned the scene from the corner of the dining room, an unlit cigarette in his jowls as he watched the rest of his gang huddle around the seemingly lifeless body in the middle of their dining room table as WinWin continued to stitch up the gash on the torso of the man who was _not_ Ryeowook the Red--meaning that little NCT, a micro-faction of EXO--fucked up royally.

 

"Nah, he's seen our headquarters before he passed out." Johnny said as he eyed the seemingly comatose male with malice. "Killing him would be better. Sell his organs to turn a decent profit from this kidnapping gone fucking sour." Johnny said as he toyed with his switch blade.

 

Taeyong hissed looking at the male that Winwin was finishing stitching up, the nurse tying the fishing wire and snipping the excess. Mark looked around to the eyes of his older members.

 

"Come on, guys. We can't,"

 

"We could," Winwin said flashing a penlight into his patient’s peeled eye. "He seems pretty healthy besides getting bashed in a bit,"

 

"Not you too," Taeyong huffed and Mark looked up at their leader with admiration in his eyes as Winwin began cleaned up his tools from the table.

 

"I'm being realistic," Winwin pouted as he began peeling his black latex gloves of and motion back to his unwelcomed patient. "His kidney, liver and lungs are sublime. We can make $100,000 USD off just the lung and liver." WinWin's childlike excitement made Taeyong frown a bit. When Sicheng was first recruited he was so shy and gentle—now he was a bit money hungry and enjoyed opening people a bit more that he’s willing to admit. 

 

"I say we wait till he wakes up, he might have information," Jaehyun said over a cup of orange tea in his grip as he perched on the island a few feet away. “He was in the compound, in Ryeowook’s coat.”

 

"I doubt it," Ten said slowly looking over at the sleeping body from his rightful place and Johnny's side. "This guy’s a cuntboy."

 

"What?" Jaehyun gasped and Taeyong snorted as he waltzed around the sleeping body on the table.

 

"Ten, the babies are around." Taeyong head nodded towards Mark and Haechan.

 

"Fuck you, TY Track."

 

"Mark has that down pat,” Taeil sneered as he started dismantling his pistol. “Don't act like we can't hear you," Mark looked affronted as he slipped a hand unconsciously around Haechan's middle.

 

"Whatever, dry dick," Haechan muttered before sinking deeper into Mark’s hold.

 

"But I'm serious." Ten began, snatching a latex glove from Winwin's box and slid it on. "Bruises on his neck, wrists, biceps--"

 

"You mean triceps," Winwin interrupted as Ten pointed to the wrong section of the arm and Ten eyes darted to Winwin and scowled.

 

"You know what I meant, Chicken Wing. You little shit,"

 

Ten sneered before carefully prying the sleeping boy’s knees apart. Everyone suddenly interested took a closer look to see nasty bruises. Taeyong grip tightened on the edge of the table, looking at how rancid, purple and swollen the multiple contusions were. 

 

"Bite marks on the inner thigh that are _way_ too deep and violent to be enjoyable--." Ten respectfully took off his well-tailored suit jacket and covered the sleeping stranger’s legs, Ten’s eyes beginning to water. "Whoever this guy is, he has no information about the ins and outs of SUJU. This guy’s a pass-around."

 

"Are you sure?" Taeyong questioning eyes still were glued on the sleeping man on the table. His face indeed had injuries and swelling, he was rail thin, pouty bottom lip cracked and caked with a bit of dry blood and the small flesh wound from a gazing gun shot that Winwin patched up was not even the most severe scar on the small-framed body.

 

Ten snorted. "Hello? Former rentboy, speaking." Ten spat maliciously before he felt Johnny's warm hand on his shoulder, calming him down and giving him strength that only his lover would understand. "The best thing we can do for him is give him a shower, soup and a couple grand to start a new life away from here."

 

"But what if he returns to their compound." Haechan asked honestly and Ten peeled the glove off and threw it on the table. Ten's eyes glazed over for a moment before retaining its vitality.

 

"He won't." Ten said solemnly. "No one would _want_ to return to that life. Death would prettier." Ten said nervously and Johnny kissed his ear, causing Ten to grin shyly, pecking Johnny's chin to thank him for the comfort.

 

"Or we can keep him," Jaehyun said drinking the broth from his ramen.

 

Suddenly all the eyes in the room fell on Jaehyun who was slurping noisily from a Shin ramen cup. Jaehyun lowers his cup slowly and in a bit of shock. "What? We could. We have this whole complex."

 

"Did you swallow a rock?" Taeyong chastised. "This is not a fucking stray cat."

 

"Jaehyun always wants to keep something. He’s basically a hoarder." Mark snickered, and the blonde flipped Mark off.

 

"I’m serious, he might have some use to us. Remember, " Jaehyun began pointing a wet chopstick to Taeyong "you wanted to toss out Mark, Haechan and Winwin when they came,"

 

"OK," Johnny cut in, "but Winwin has nursing experience, Mark knows eight languages and Haechan can pickpocket anything. What can this guy do besides be a spunk dunk?"

 

"We don't know, he might have an attribute that's useful." Jaehyun countered.

 

"Throat-fucking is useful," Taeil snipped.

 

"OMG. Can't you guys be a bit compassionate?" Ten rolled his eyes.

 

"Ten, we're fucking dope peddlers.” Taeil wailed unsarcastically. “Compassion is not listed as a pillar of this occupation."

 

"We should just kill him now.” Johnny spoke up again and Ten turned to his boyfriend in horror. “What? We can take the organs. Buy Johnny a new iPhone X~." Johnny said with a sing-song voice. Ten squeezed Johnny’s nipple painfully and Johnny yelped.

 

"No. We won’t harvest his organs.” Taeyong said indefinitely, his eyes finally moving from the body on their dining table. “Winwin, clean him up." Taeyong said firmly.

 

"Uh, nope.” The Chinese male snorted as he disposed on the items he used to tend to the apparent victim. “I dressed his wounds—for _free_." Winwin said firmly as he watched the annoyance on Taeyong’s face dance.

 

"Where is he going to sleep?" Taeyong questioned and Haechan snorted

 

"With you,"

 

"What? Like hell he is,"

 

"You have a whole floor to yourself," Winwin chided and Jaehyun spoke up in support.

 

"Plus everyone else is buddied up but you, leader-nim."

 

"Mark--," Taeyong began pleading before Haechan cut him off.

 

"No, ‘Mark’!” Haechan interjected loosening his wine-colored tie. “You _always_ throw things on Mark. Plus, I'm going to be in his bed tonight." Haechan answered shamelessly as Mark blushed but kisses the corner of his boyfriend's mouth. 

 

Taeyong wanted to fucking gouge his eyes out. 

 

"I'm not taking him," Taeyong scoffs and Taeil picks up his polishing rag, giggling as he made his way past Taeyong.

 

"Oh, yes you are." Taeil chuckled. "It was _your_ decision to not kick him out the van after you realized it wasn't Ryeowook the Red."

 

"Why can't Ten--you'll understand him better."

 

"No can do," Ten shrugs leaning into his lover's embrace as Johnny held him from behind. "It's too triggering and I just started to feel recovered after seven years of freedom.”

 

Taeyong was poised to flat out whine in protest but suddenly the body on the table began to stir.

 

Everyone quickly jumped away from the table and Taeil quickly yanks his gun from his holster and points it at the young man who was groaning and slowly getting up.

 

Suddenly, large, watery bloodshot eyes appear from behind bruised eyelids. The table was surrounded by the members of NCT, one with a gun pointed directly at the face of the now conscience individual.

 

The young man let's out a blood curdling shriek and flailed like a fish out of water off the table and landed badly on his ankle. He lets out a cry that only a wounded animal could make as he tries to scramble away from the men and to the closest area away which was the kitchen. 

 

“Wait! Calm down!” Ten shouts as the person limps to the kitchen and pulls out a knife from the sink and back himself in the corner of where the counters meet, trembling and sobbing. 

 

"Who are you?” the shivering body shouts as he holds on the knife out in warning. The guys are all at the threshold of the kitchen, Ten in the forefront with his arms at his sides. 

 

“We won’t hurt you. See?” Ten emphasized as he patted his own pockets and sides showing that he didn’t have a weapon—even though his gun was tucked in his waist behind him in case the person went off the deep end— “I don’t have anything, OK?” 

 

“Where am I?" he man asked looking around the elegant kitchen in awe and Johnny scoffed.

 

“Now would be a great time to harvest those organs." Johnny announced bitterly and Ten gave Johnny a look that even made Taeyong curl in fear. 

 

“For fuck’s sake, Youngho. Could you stop being a self-centered cock-wipe for three seconds?” Ten spat disgusted before the stranger spoke up, saving Johnny from getting his ass handed to him.

 

"What?” he whimpered as he furious wiped his tears with the sleeve of the oversized red coat. “Are you going to kill me?"

 

"Probably," Taeil shrugged and Jaehyun smacked Taeil upside the head before squeezing next to Ten.

 

"Stop scaring him, you fucking jerks.” Jaehyun hissed before he turned to the knife-wielding stranger in his otherwise immaculate kitchen. “Hi. I'm Jaehyun. Please, may you put the knife down, yeah?" Jaehyun’s voice was soft and calming, the same tone he used when he first found Mark in a bus station rifling through trash for food; when he found Sicheng throwing up outside a brothel in Daegu and when he found Haechan being beat an inch away from death on a rainy night in Mapo-gu. If anyone could get the stranger to call down, it was Jaehyun. 

 

Jaehyun took a step forward—a wrong step forward and the suddenly the stranger has the knife’s sharp and serrated edge with both hands and pointed to his own throat. 

 

“Please, don’t!” Ten shouted as they watched the trembling man with a look of strong determination on his face as he held the knife centimeters away from his artery in the where his chest meets his throat. 

 

"Back away! Please!” he cried as he shook his head boldly. “I'm begging you. I'm not being dramatic. I just want to die, OK? Now is my chance. Everyday they had me in that hell I’ve been _dreaming_ of this chance to kill myself."

 

"What's your name, sweetie?” Jaehyun tried again, this time the blonde sank to the floor, sitting lotus style and smiling. “See? I don’t have anything. I’m in a position so vulnerable—you _could_ hurt me. But I trust you.” Jaehyun said honestly. “I don’t think you’d hurt me. We won't hurt you. We don't want you to be hurt either."

 

Taeyong watched in muted shock as he could see the gears turn in the suicidal man’s head. 

 

Jaehyun was naturally a person someone would want to trust. He had a soft smile, adorable cheeks and a welcoming soul that was shown only to love ones and friends—but Taeyong knew that Jaehyun was known as Jaehyun the Hand and earn this name. Jaehyun didn’t care much for weapons—he preferred to kill with his bare hands.

 

But Jaehyun the Hand wasn’t present right now—just Yoonoh who believe everyone could be useful and loved. Yoonoh, who wanted to collect people like strays and love them all.

 

The stranger sniffled. "I'm...I'm Yuta. Na Yuta."

 

"OK, Yuta.” Jaehyun grinned and clapped softly. “You have a _such_ a pretty name to match a pretty soul like yourself. We don't want you hurt,"

 

"Why does he have a gun?" Yuta blurted out nervously motioning to Taeil’s drawn weapon and Jaehyun looked over his shoulder and giggled lightly.

 

"Well, it’s because we brought a stranger in our house." 

 

"I'm sorry. I'm Taeil.” Taeil said solemnly before putting the gun away and raising his hands. “I didn't mean to frighten you."

 

"Where am I?" Yuta asked, his focus now on Jaehyun, but Jaehyun realized that Yuta’s grip on the knife began to weaken a bit. 

 

"We can't tell you, exactly—but it’s not Seoul. Are you hurt anywhere? You have a lot of injuries. And you fell on your ankle pretty badly.” Jaehyun pouted. “We can help."

 

"Just...maybe my rib." Yuta began, his voice quaky. 

 

"It's fractured--" Winwin said quietly from beside Taeil. "A hairline fracture, but it may take a while to heal. Also, a flesh wound in the same side. I stitched it and gave you a shot of antibiotics, so in three days you'll be better."

 

Yuta cautiously looked at his torso to see the stitches and the angry red flesh around it. Yuta looked back up and his eyes watered.

 

"Did you really tend to me?" Yuta's words were so painfully happy that it made Taeyong heart stop. "Thank you so much, I am in your debt." Yuta quickly dropped the knife in the sink and began to slowly limp towards Winwin and took his hands into his own as Jaehyun stood up behind Yuta and everyone took a cautious step back. "I'm in your debt. Thank you,"

 

"Oh my God, he's so pretty." Winwin began taking in Yuta's smile. Winwin looked over to Jaehyun. "He's so pretty. I'm in pain. Help."

 

Jaehyun and Taeil helped Yuta to the couch in the living room as Mark and Haechan fetched blankets and Winwin started brewing tea.

 

"Yuta, did you know where you were?" Ten asked as he helped lift Yuta’s ankle to the coffee table to get the pressure off his injury.

 

Yuta looked completely upended by the sudden hospitality he was receiving but remained politely.

 

"Yes. I was captured by Super Junior. My grandfather owed them money and when they couldn't get him they said I’d have to work the debt," Yuta’s words were broken by a wet sob and Johnny cooed sincerely at Yuta’s tears.

 

"Poor thing,"

 

"Oh shit, now everyone loves him." Taeyong grumbled as he watched Mark and Haechan graciously provide blankets to Yuta who happily accepted. Winwin also came with tea to present to Yuta who in return gave him a small smile. Winwin and Haechan nearly squeaked at Yuta's cuteness despite the damage to his face.

 

Yuta wrapped himself in the blankets as if he was starved for warmth for years and slurped mug after mug of tea as he sat at the loveseat in the living room and the others ganged up on the couch on the opposite side to give their [captive? guest?] personal space.

 

After about twenty minutes, Yuta stopped shivering and finished his 5th cup of tea before he spoke again.

 

"I'm sorry for earlier. Please don't consider me rude…I am grateful. You took me away from hell, patched me up and gave me warmth but...who are you?" Yuta asked softly, eyeing the seven men dressed in all black, well-tailored suits. "Are you going to hurt me too? Use me? Please, I rather die than be raped again."

 

Yuta's voice was so timid and meek that it even made Taeil choke up.

 

"We're...a selected group of individuals who specialize in providing safe distribution of pre-approved goods and services to a quaint but high demanding client." Taeil announced a bit boldly and Yuta raised an eyebrow.

 

"Smugglers?"

 

"Ding Daeng Dong!" Haechan grinned and Yuta chuckled lightly at Haechan's smile.

 

"Are you hungry, Yuta?" Jaehyun asked leaning forward a bit. "Not to brag, but I make a mean cup of ramen."

 

Yuta smiled sadly shaking his head. "I don't want a last meal. Even if you guys let me free, Siwan _will_ find me. I rather simply take this time to die quietly." Yuta sighed. “How tall is this building?”

 

"We're not going to hurt you." Mark began a bit exasperated.

 

"You can hurt me, but please don't rape me.” Yuta’s voice was cracking, and he sniffled hard; his words barely audible. “I honestly rather die…this building is at least five stories, right?"

 

This makes everyone frown deeply at Yuta's sheer determination to give up.

 

Ten huffs before sitting up from the seat in the couch next to Taeyong and Johnny and without a smudge of hesitation, Ten stands in front of Yuta who looks up timidly.

 

"Yuta, could I sit I next to you?” Ten asked formally, his eyes not leaving the brown eyes heavy with tears. “I promise I won't touch you. I respect you and your personal space--but I just want to show you something. Is that OK, with you?"

 

"Tennie, what are you--?" Haechan started before but Ten looked over his shoulder and gave them a reassuring glance.

 

"Guys, when you've had everything private about you ripped open and don't feel safe, you have no idea how to trust. Am I right, Yuta?"

 

Yuta looks down sadly and nods.

 

"Yes, Ten. You can sit next me."

 

Ten smiles and sits next to Yuta, but lets a half-foot gap between them for Yuta's own comfort.

 

"Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you. I'd like to show you my forearm, OK? If it's too much, let me know immediately, OK? I don't want to scare you."

 

Yuta nodded and scoots closer to Ten as ten unbuttons his cufflinks and roll his left sleeve up to reveal an eccentric brand into his skin and faint thin scars above it. Ten gauges the blank stare on everyone's faces and look of anguish on Johnny's facade. 

 

"You know what this is right?"

 

Yuta nods before suddenly pulling Ten into a hug and the latter gently hugs back. Ten soon realized that Yuta was sobbing and the former quickly patted his back and repeated calming words to him.

 

"You're safe here now, alright? I won't let anything harm you, OK?"

 

Mark rubbed Johnny's shoulder as the eldest of the group tried to keep his emotions about him. Haechan however, had no idea what was happening.

 

"What did Ten show him?" Haechan whispered to his boyfriend ear and Mark mumbled a reply.

 

"A brand from the human traffickers who sold him. I think they were probably sold by the same group."

 

Yuta pulled back before he held on to Ten's hands like a lifeline. "Where did they take you from?"

 

"Thailand. I was leaving a English course when I was 17." Ten began as he pulled out the handkerchief from his breast pocket and carefully wiped Yuta's tears, ignoring his own. "My dad owned lots of restaurants back home in Bangkok and embezzled money. So they stole me. I was trafficked out to Saudi Arabia, Argentina, Guam and Chicago. While in Chicago, this really mean, old, nosy Jamaican lady was the tenant next door. She saw me once through the crack in the wall and would sneak me food and bible verses." Ten smiled sadly at when the old lady finally harbored them in the house and shouted at them for being too skinny. "She snuck me and a few other girls out and hide us from the traffickers us for about two weeks before she got Johnny involved." Ten motioned to Johnny who had his head down in his hands. "And he saved me."

 

Ten knew that Johnny always get extremely emotional when Ten tells the story of his past, but Ten had to get Yuta to trust him.

 

Ten squeezed gently on Yuta's hand. "No one's going to rape you. No one's going to hurt you. We'll protect you."

 

Yuta nods and buries his face into Ten's chest. Ten then motions Jaehyun to cook something warm and Mark to run a bath upstairs as the others quickly dispersed as Taeyong tapped Taeil and Johnny on the shoulder and pointed to the patio.

 

Once settled in the seats around the table, Taeil spoke up first as he lit his cigarette.

 

"We can use him, Taeyong.” Taeil began loosening his bowtie. He had no idea who implemented the ‘Expensive suits while doing physically intensive gang-related activities’ rule but Taeil was tired of it. “He looks strong, like he was a fighter before they...before whoever snatched him sold him into slavery."

 

"Ten's not letting him go." Johnny began, stirring pouring a glass of brown liquor in Taeil’s and Taeyong’s glass. "They may have been trafficked by the same faction during different times. Ten is not letting him go. I can tell."

 

"Hey, how did that old lady know to contact you?" Taeil asked curiously and Johnny snorted. 

 

"She didn't, I was just the only Asian she knew and was aware that the police would not help them. So when I was visiting her store, she explained and took me to her house to find Ten and three girls. She was a mean old lady, but she loved them. When I was able to get them, she made me swear to take care of Ten, since he was the most hurt.”

 

The others nodded before silence fell between the three oldest of the group.

 

"I'm not telling Doyoung about this." Taeil stated plainly and Taeyong cursed. 

 

"Aish, I forgot about him." Taeyong sighed annoyed. Doyoung left the headquarters as soon as he realized that they did not get Ryeowook the Red. Unfortunately, Doyoung who begged for NCT to have this opportunity had to run over to EXO’s main compound in Busan to explain to his older brothers Gongmyung and Suho why NCT had failed.

 

"Let Jaehyun handle him." Taeil sighed, "Jae will butter him up,"

 

"But where will he stay?" Johnny questioned and Taeyong frowned deeply. As much as he hates new people, Taeyong could not ignore how painfully woeful Yuta is. A large part of a Taeyong wanted to be the one to hug Yuta and wipe his tears; a smaller part knew that trusting anyone from the neighboring enemy or victim could be a death sentence.

 

"I'll let him stay in my room." Taeyong said after a while, admiring the beautiful Ilsan skyline. "Move the extra pull-out futon to my room."

 

Johnny and Taeil let out a nervous breath of relief.

 

They come back inside to see that Yuta had showered, dressed in an old sweater that Jaehyun owned, pajamas and was now with Winwin sharing ice cream at the table with Ten and Haechan who insisted they talk about why chocolate mint ice cream was the only ice cream that mattered. 

 

Taeyong at this point was really able to see just how pretty Yuta was. Despite his welts, he had a gorgeous face, large brown eyes and smile that made Taeyong feel emotionally attacked and Yuta’s little laugh at Ten and Haechan bickering seemed melodic, as if he has a natural song in his voice. When Mark joined them, sitting next to Yuta, his eyes had a small strip of unreasonable fear before Mark pulled out an American candy that made Yuta's eyes go wide in wonder. Mark presented it to Yuta with a flourish and Yuta absolutely beamed.

 

Taeyong felt his heart thump in his chest. 

 

"I'm sorry, but Mark is now my favorite." Yuta giggled as if he always belong there, between Haechan's faux frown and Ten repeating _"But I thought our hug meant something, Na Yuta!!”_ and Winwin using all his aegyo to get a piece of the Twix.

 

They sat together as Taeil and Taeyong moved an extra couch to the room upstairs.

 

Taeyong's room was the most spacious of all the rooms since it was two units forge into one and always tidy and smelled of Febreze, sandalwood and the morning sky--but he was nervous about having someone that he didn't know and didn't trust sleep with him--well not _with_ him, but in his vicinity.

☤

Around 2AM, Taeyong gets a knock on his door. Taeyong was busy reading a novel on his bed when heard the knock.

 

"Come in," Taeyong announced and Yuta slowly peeked his head in before entering with a deep bow.

 

"I will make sure I'm out of your way, sir." Yuta began formally; the way Jaehyun's hoodie hung off of Yuta's shoulders was so endearing, but so worrisome. Taeyong made a mental note to make American style breakfast tomorrow with lots of pancakes and bacon to fill Yuta's bones.

 

"You can call me Taeyong."

 

"Taeyong-ssi, thank you." Yuta smiles gently.

 

"It's a pull-out futon. Mark and Haechan already made sure you have the cleanest and fluffiest pillows and comforter."

 

Yuta blushed, the color still showing on his bruised cheeks. "I will be sure to thank them."

 

A blanket of silence fell between then and it put Taeyong on edge. 

 

Should he sleep tonight? 

 

Should he wait to see if Yuta was a plant placed by SUJU or BTS to scope them out? 

 

Taeyong wasn't too _too_ worried. He had a semi-automatic under his pillow, a military-grade assault rifle under his bed named Louie and knives stashed in little niches all over the complex for moments like this.

 

Yuta oddly shifted his foot from his left to his right. Taeyong noticed that Winwin must have also mended the bruised ankle.

 

"Winwin patched you up?"

 

Yuta nodded and giggled. "He says it's a minor sprain."

 

Taeyong motioned for Yuta to sit on the pull-out bed. Yuta nodded politely before slipping between the fluffy sheets, looking a small kid surrounded in a sea of black and blue blankets.

 

Taeyong continued to stare at Yuta who blushed under the gaze.

 

"I'm going to turn off the lights." Taeyong announced and Yuta's eyes widen tremendously.

 

"Taeyong-ssi...I,"

 

"Don't tell me you're afraid of the dark?"

 

Taeyong's tone was annoyed and Yuta chuckled nervously instead.

 

"No, just pray before bed?"

 

"Sure. Night."

 

Taeyong flicked the lights off and shuffled in to bed, completely forgetting to keep an eye open for if Yuta decides to kill them all.

☤

Taeyong was pulled from his slumber by the sound of erratic sobs. Taeyong instantly slipped his hand under his pillow but there was no need--Yuta was bawling his eyes out.

 

Taeyong shot up from his bed and flicked on the lights to see Yuta writhing like he was set on fire, whimpering phrases in Japanese and Korean so rapidly Taeyong was afraid he'd swallow his tongue. Taeyong was climbing on the pull out next to Yuta but froze before could reach out.

 

"Fuck, what did Ten say?" Taeyong groaned. While Yuta was with Jaehyun to give him a tour of the place, Ten gave everyone a crash course on how to respect Yuta's personal space and to be careful as to not trigger Yuta or make him panic and feel unsafe.

 

But how the hell can Taeyong ask for consent to touch Yuta's shoulder when he's having a night terror?

 

Taeyong gripped gently at the crying man's shoulder and shook firmly.

 

"Yuta! Yuta, you're having a bad dream,"

 

Yuta kept howling even trying to claw at Taeyong's well-meaning grip. Taeyong gritted his teeth before he pulled Yuta closer to him to hold him to his chest.

 

"Yuta, calm down. It's not real," Taeyong was surprised at his voice but even more shocked at how Yuta calmed down almost immediately. 

 

Taeyong pulled Yuta away a fraction to see Yuta's eyes flutter open, once they did--Taeyong gasped.

 

Yuta's soft brown eyes were rimmed with red and encased by long, dark and damp lashes. Taeyong wordlessly caressed a tear from Yuta's cheek and the latter shuddered.

 

"Yuta, it’s OK. You're safe."

 

"You don't understand, Taeyong-ssi." Yuta voice was raw and physically painful for Taeyong to hear. "Siwan _will_ kill me."

 

Taeyong's muscles tensed at the utterance of the name.

 

Siwan the Sick earned his name ten-times over. 

 

He was the leader of Super Junior, their expansive affiliates, was infamous for never losing a territory to a another gang, having the best drugs available on this side of the pacific and being down right _sick_. 

 

When NCT teamed up with their sister gang EXO, Chanyeol stressed that if during their raid and capture of Ryeowook the Red--if anyone were to get caught by SUJU to immediately kill themselves before Siwan gets their hands on them. 

 

It was an _order_. 

 

Siwan was known for using the most torturous method on his enemies. One case that stuck out to Taeyong was when the local police chief fell into SUJU's hands. Siwan pried off his fingernails, made him swallow it before making him watch his wife get dismembering and then he himself being chopped up while he was alive and Siwan stitched their body parts together before Siwan mailed their new body parts in a freezer to be delivered to his grandmother in China with a note saying: “No **bodies** fucks with SUJU.” 

 

The only person who was precious to Siwan was Ryeowook the Red--his malicious, petty and pretty right-hand man who Siwan could not hide his love for. 

 

It was so well-known that on the week of Ryeowook's birthday--SUJU were not active. It's a week of pure peace because Siwan would take his beloved Ryeowook on vacation and all SUJU members would go home. 

 

It was the few times that EXO actually tripled their quota and the other little gangs would have so much money from SUJU's absence that it was like a weeklong party until they returned. 

 

Upon their return this year, there was a rumor that Ryeowook was getting sick and that he may be a carrier. It explained why Siwan was rarely seen and Ryeowook was confined to the compound instead of in the SUJU-owned brothels which he runs. 

 

If Ryeowook was one of the rare 1 in 2.4 million men who could carry and was sick--he was pregnant. 

 

And if EXO could kidnap Siwan's precious lover and unborn child--there would be _nothing_ they couldn't get.

 

But why was Yuta in Siwan and Ryeowook's bed--wearing his coat?

 

Fuck.

 

A decoy.

 

"Siwan?" Taeyong questioned and Yuta's eyes began to fill.

 

"Siwan will come for me. He's going to kill me. He said if I ever found a way to leave him, he was going to hurt me."

 

"Why were you in Ryeowook's coat?"

 

Yuta blinked. "Because I heard that someone was going to kill Ryeowook. Siwan and Ryeowook left, but I was hoping whoever was going to kill him could just kill me. The things they put me through, Taeyong-ssi---I _want_ to die. I just don't want him to kill me."

 

"Ssh, no one’s going to hurt you." Taeyong already loved the feeling of having Yuta's warmth in his arms. Taeyong brushed more tears away. "Hyung won't let anyone hurt you, OK?"

 

"'Hyung'?" Yuta asked timidly and Taeyong gave Yuta a small, unexpected kiss on the forehead.

 

"Yes, Yuta. Call me 'hyung', OK? 'Cause I will protect you. You are safe with us. You're safe with me. I won't hurt you." Taeyong couldn't believe what he was saying as it flowed from his mouth and into the open air between them--Taeyong was more in shock at how much he truly meant them.

 

Siwan was sick to his enemies and mean to his friends. Taeyong couldn’t imagine how he would treat Yuta who was their just for sexual pleasure.

 

Taeyong shook himself free of those thoughts as Yuta calmed down immensely, burying his face into Taeyong's chest and the gently grip on his arms were endearing.

 

"Thank you...hyung,"

 

"No worries. And I'll be honest--you are much prettier than Ryeowook."

 

Yuta cracked a little smile before tucking his face back into Taeyong's chest to hide his blush. Taeyong giggled at the cuteness that Yuta possessed and slowly began brushing his fingertips in Yuta's hair. Thankful when Yuta let out a soft sigh of contentment.

 

"I'll make them pay for what they've done to you," Taeyong's words dripped with malice as he kissed Yuta’s forehead again. Taeyong was not the touchy type, or the sympathetic type--definitely not the emotional type but seeing Yuta more frightened at the thought Siwan--that this beautiful stranger in his arms rather kill himself than return was making a hatred rise in him that was stronger than other emotions he had.

 

Yuta then shook his head and peered up to Taeyong's round eyes, so close to his.

 

"No, I just want to forget."

 

"I'll make you forget," Taeyong said softly as Yuta intertwined his free hand with Taeyong's. Taeyong's heart rate dropped and picked back up. He was sure he was blushing by the cute smile on Yuta's face. "In the future, you're going to live in a huge condo overseas." Taeyong began painting a picture of him and Yuta in a large condo in Paris, with floor to ceiling windows, tasteful furniture and wonderful views of the city.

 

"Large windows? A skyline?" Yuta asked anxiously and Taeyong chuckled.

 

"Of course. You'll have ample amounts of money, a loving partner that will take care of you and a fluffy cat named Myungie."

 

Yuta pouted. "I don't want a fluffy cat. I want one of those naked ones--we'll name it Wrinkles."

 

"Eww, Yuta." Taeyong frowned. "Those things are ugly. They look like uncooked chicken."

 

Yuta whined looking up at Taeyong who avoided Yuta's puppy dog look. "But I want one, hyung~"

 

Taeyong rolled his eyes before looking down at Yuta. "Yuta, we are not getting a naked cat." Taeyong said firmly and Taeyong felt him tense up quickly. 

 

Taeyong mentally cursed. He didn't mean to scare or sound harsh--it's just those cats are ass ugly.

 

Yuta's face broke into a wide, toothy grin. "OK. _We_ won't get the naked cat for _our_ condo in Paris."

 

Taeyong wanted to shrink under Yuta's playful smile. How embarrassing!

 

"Yuta, we should--I mean _you_ should go to bed,"

 

The second slip up made Yuta chuckled with glossed over eyes.

 

"OK, Taeyong-hyung."

 

Neither made an effort to move.

 

Truth be told, Yuta had never so protected and Taeyong hadn't felt the need to protect someone so strongly in years.

 

Reluctantly, Taeyong laid Yuta's head from his chest and back to the bed but Yuta clung on to his sweater. 

 

Taeyong frowned at how much Yuta wanted Taeyong to stay--Taeyong was a stranger but he was so starved for warmth and protection that he clung to him.

 

"Taeyong...may I have your sweater? Just for tonight?"

 

"My sweater?"

 

"It smells nice and it's relaxing. Please?"

 

Taeyong wanted to protest but within a few seconds Taeyong nodded and slipped off the old black hoodie with bleach stains on the pockets and presented it to Yuta who took it and immediately inhaled it, curling into the sheets, a content smile on his face.

 

"I'll keep the lamp on for you." Taeyong announced as he willed his heart to stop beating at his rib cage. Yuta looked so cute drowning in the blankets, a tuff of brown hair peeking out as Yuta hugged the hooded sweatshirt as if it was his only hope.

 

When Taeyong laid back on his bed, listening to the soft, even breath of Yuta who was in the other side of the room--he realized that he fucked up.

 

Instead of thinking about a way to interrogate Yuta about what he knows about SUJU inner workings--all he could think of was the excitement that would be on Yuta's face when Taeyong presents him with a huge stack of fluffy, buttery pancakes and strawberry syrup in the morning.

 

Yup.

 

Taeyong fucked up.

☤


	2. Arteriosum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. 
> 
> I cannot believe the amount of kudos, comments and love I received for this fic. I don't have much to say besides this fic with not have as many chapters as _Bad Habits_ but may be just as long. This chapter it self was 10K+ words. So you can harass me about the time between updates all you want, but you can't say I don't keep you guys well-fed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ☤
> 
> __
> 
>  
> 
> _lig·a·men·tum arte·ri·o·sum_  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> ·ANATOMY: arterial ligament / · is a small ligament that is the remnant of the ductus arteriosus formed within three weeks after birth. 
> 
>  
> 
> ······
> 
>  
> 
> _This ligament also plays a role in major trauma_ ; it fixes the aorta in place during rapid decelerations recoil, consequently potentially resulting in ruptured artery of the heart.

☤

Jaehyun woke up to a warm pressure behind back and his sharp instincts has him turning around and sitting up quickly sat up gripping a blade under his pillow.

 

“Hyunnie, it’s me.” 

 

The voice called out gently before the lights flicked on and flooded their spacious room with artificial light. Jaehyun loosen his gripped on the handle of the knife and let out a breath of relief as looked to his lover. 

 

Doyoung’s orange hair was disheveled and his round bottom lip was split and leaking. Doyoung’s cold eyes grew softer realizing that Jaehyun was fretting over him. Jaehyun frowned deeply before reaching out to cradle Doyoung’s face

 

"Love," Jaehyun began barely over a whisper, watching Doyoung’s eyes close slightly, his dark lashes against his bruised left cheek was so beautiful to Jaehyun. Everything about Doyoung was beautiful and unreal. 

 

"Yeah, Chanyeol and Suho are mad but at least they didn't take off a finger like Gongmyung wanted…Can you believe Gongmyung wanted to take a finger from all of us for fucking up? Even ChenLe and he was just a look out.” Doyoung scoffed as he peeled the Valentino jacket off his broad shoulders as Jaehyun kissed at his cheeks, spoiling him with the love and attention that Doyoung craved but always neglected to express. “Jongdae-hyung explained that there was no way we'd know Ryeowook wasn't there and at least we have someone who may know if he's really pregnant or not. Jongdae and Jongin-hyung stopped Gongmyung from trying enforce an even steeper punishment."

 

Jaehyun shushed Doyoung lovingly, before sucking at Doyoung’s bleeding lip. Doyoung hissed and shook his head slightly. 

 

“Hyunnie, that’s gross.” 

 

“Shut up, you’ve done worse.” Jaehyun teased and Doyoung tried to stop his blush thinking about his various kinks and Jaehyun’s openness to them all. Doyoung pulled back to kiss Jaehyun properly. 

 

“Our penalty is doing the next five drops commission-free." Doyoung sighed and Jaehyun reeled back with wide-eyes. 

 

"Commission-free?” Jaehyun began nervously. As dope boys working directly under another faction—commission is the only way they get really get paid. SUJU, BTS, EXO and 2NE1 are the main traffickers of illegal drugs and goods from Russia, the UAE and the North and South Americas into Far East Asia. NCT, a sister faction of EXO only receive proper payment for doing _successful_ drops to the most heavily guarded and luxurious cities of Korea instead of EXO doing the foot work. If they can’t get the measly commission of 200,000 won that then has to spilt multiple ways between each member for every drop—the next five drops is losing close to $100,000 USD. “Doyoung--how are we going to eat? Or pay for our suits and bills or for Mark and Haechan’s university?"

 

Doyoung pulled Jaehyun closer to him, breathing in Jaehyun’s heavenly scent to ease his own torturous mind. 

 

"Taeyong and I always save, unlike the rest of you who like to buy shiny cufflinks or new games.” Doyoung could feel Jaaehyun’s pout on the corner of his cheek before the older of the two sat up and pinched Jaehyun’s fluffy cheeks. “I'm not letting anyone go hungry. I'll make sure your cheeks are this chubby, always."

 

Jaehyun suddenly felt like bubbles invaded his heart as he preened under Doyoung’s always compassionate touch. Jaehyun sighed in resignation and moved closer to lay more kisses on Doyoung’s bruised cheek. 

 

Gongmyung was never pleased with Doyoung, no matter how hard the younger tried, but Jaehyun was forever grateful that Chanyeol was always sweet on NCT and would never try to hurt them more than necessary. 

 

"I saw that the house was clean,” Doyoung began as he began to undo the button on his collar as he kept kissing at Jaehyun’s perfect jawline, the other hand already on Jaehyun’s hip. “Where's the guy? Did you get a kidney, maybe a lung at least?"

 

Jaehyun froze and Doyoung pulled back, looking down at Jaehyun who let out a nervous chuckle. 

 

"Um, so what happened was--"

 

"Jae!" Doyoung reeled back in distain as Jaehyun quickly followed the taller man who was already reaching for the series of semi-automatic handguns that was on display before Jaehyun’s warm hands gripped at Doyoung’s waist to quickly swivel them around. Doyoung scoffed as he turned back around to see Jaehyun barring the door in just a tee shirt and boxer brief and a his power puppy eyes on display. 

 

“Yoonoh!”

 

"He was suicidal and so _cute_!" Jaehyun bartered and Doyoung sputtered in total disbelief, his eyes flaring. 

 

"Are you _kidding_ me?!” Doyoung shouted and a Jaehyun visibly cringed at Doyoung’s tone. Doyoung sucked in a breath, trying his hardest to not yell _at_ his boyfriend but still fucking yelling. “He could be a fucking plant!” Doyoung voice was a bit tamer but still furious. “Where is he?!"

 

"In Taeyong's room," Jaehyun said firmly, trying not to shy away. Anyone with semi-decent eyesight can see that Jaehyun could probably snap Doyoung in half of a blink of an eye but Jaehyun had seen his parents fight all his life swore that he’d never be the same way the person he loves and Doyoung knows that. 

 

But still. 

 

"Are you fucking spastic?!" Doyoung began pacing, upset. “The longer that person is here—we could all be in fucking danger!”

 

"Bunny, listen to me." Jaehyun began, this time stepping in front of Doyoung who was snarling at this point. 

 

"Hyunnie--,"

 

"It's OK.” Jaehyun’s voice was firm as he cupped Doyoung’s cheeks. Doyoung looked into the chocolate orbs that he admired so much and felt his anger immediately die down. “Doyoung, he was sold into slavery."

 

"But--,"

 

"The first he did once he could reach a sharp object was hold it to his own neck.” Jaehyun explained solidly as he brushed the sweat from Doyoung’s brow. “He wanted to die as quickly as he got up. We all had to coax him to sanity. He didn't trust us until Ten showed the tattoo that was forced on him."

 

Doyoung is silent as his mind processed all the information and all the possibilities. 

 

"He's in Taeyong's room?" Doyoung asked again and Jaehyun nodded, caressing his cheeks and tipping his head up for a calming kiss. Jaehyun felt Doyoung physically relax and Jaehyun sighed in relief.

 

"Yeah.” Jaehyun affirmed before placing his hands on Doyoung’s shoulders as the older of the two nosed at the soft spot under his ear. “Please, love. We'll talk tomorrow. Let’s go to sleep."

 

"Shower with me.” Doyoung asked in a voice that was rarely used. It was delicate and surreal to Jaehyun’s ears. “I'm scared."

 

Jaehyun nods before taking hold of Doyoung’s trembling fingers and kissing them before bringing him their en suite shower.

 

Doyoung is just known as the jackRabbit. 

 

The jackRabbit was tall, slender, fast, meticulous and slick and is the _last_ person you would ever want to meet in a knife fight. Ever since he was eleven he was trailing behind his older brother Gongmyung and EXO. Doyoung was incredible and fast at smuggling, peddling and knife fights that he was initiated into EXO before Gongmyung was—a fact that Doyoung always had to suffer for when Gongmyung and Chanyeol began running EXO from their cousin Suho.

 

Doyoung was supposed to be the leader of NCT when EXO began to branch out and take over more areas and a need for a second branch was needed—but by that time, Doyoung had no desire to lead. Doyoung was content handling all liaisons with other gangs, balancing the finances and every now and then, tracking down people who owe them money personally. 

 

The very, very last thing anyone would want is to see the jackRabbit, dressed in a wonderful three-piece Armani suit with your wife and kids tied up on the bathtub while eating ramen on your couch—waiting for the cash that was way overdue. 

 

And Jaehyun loves him. 

 

After their shower, Jaehyun busied himself with lighting a candle as Doyoung tried to stealthily take a pill from a blue blister pack. 

 

The sight makes Jaehyun frown deeply.

 

"I hate that you take those."

 

Doyoung took a deep swig of flat Coke that was lying on his side of their dresser before turning to Jaehyun with rueful eyes. 

 

"I promise.” Doyoung began fiddling with the blister pack of birth control. “After we get Ryeowook and the ransom, you and I will move away and start a family." 

 

Doyoung scoffed pitifully and tossed the pack on the dresser. “Trust me, I think about it everyday.”

 

Doyoung looked at his reflection in the mirror before staring at a small photo of infant that was burnt a bit around the edges. A few years ago, a fire uprooted them from their small trap house in Anyang. 

 

The only thing Doyoung took was the small photo.

 

Jaehyun circled his arms around Doyoung’s small waist before he kissed his lover’s shoulder. 

 

Jaehyun rubbed Doyoung's belly, now muscled but faint with stretch marks. 

 

Jaehyun met Doyoung when he was pregnant with Hyuna--a daughter that Doyoung refuse to name the father for.

 

At that time, Doyoung was a newly minted member of EXO but was kicked out due to his pregnancy. Chanyeol and Jongdae wanted Doyoung to stay—but Doyoung’s own brother used every single piece of clout to get Doyong removed. Forced to fend for himself and the constant annoyance by the sexy, younger and way-too-determined delivery boy who kept stalking him--Doyoung was desperate for an abortion but Jaehyun convinced him to keep the child and give the baby for adoption. 

 

Hyuna was delivered on a snowy night in Jaehyun's arms at his parent’s restaurant. Homeless and pregnant, Jaehyun would make sure to sneak Doyoung into the restaurant after hours to stay warm—but once Doyoung went into labo, Jaehyun—clueless and nineteen at the time--literally YouTubed ‘how to give birth’ and put on yellow rubber gloves and gospel music. 

 

At that time they had no money and no shelter outside of Jaehyun’s tiny room at his parent’s home and it was no place to take care of post-natal Doyoung or newly born Hyuna. Jaehyun’s parents had no idea that their barely legal son was harboring a pregnant gang member or that Jaehyun was even in love. 

 

The night Jaehyun had to hand five-day-old Hyuna to the hospital was the worse night of his life. 

 

In that week, Jaehyun had cleared every dime of his meager savings to have the three of them in a hotel and Jaehyun loved it. He loved taking care of Doyoung and Hyuna during the day, but once Hyuna was sleeping, they’d argue in the tiny bathroom over Hyuna. 

 

Jaehyun didn’t want to give Hyuna up. He was willing to steal from his own family or sell his body if it meant that Hyuna— _their_ daughter would be fed. Doyoung, however couldn’t deal with his postpartum depression, lack resources and putting innocent Jaehyun in the way of drugs, guns and prostitution over a responsibility that wasn’t even his. 

 

Hyuna was Jaehyun’s daughter, as far as Jaehyun was concerned. From month six in utero until her birth--he fed her and sheltered her and read her books in Doyoung’s belly and literally help bring her into this world.

 

Even five years later, Jaehyun never forgot their daughter. Hyuna was now a precocious little thing with eyes like her birth father and fat cheeks like the man that tried to give up everything to protect her. 

 

Everyday Jaehyun would watch at a distance as she walked to and from school—her new parents seemed to be showering her with love and affection and Jaehyun was content in watching her grow...her teeth were bunnied just like her dad, but strangely she had Jaehyun’s smile and kitten-like laugh. 

 

Jaehyun felt like he’d never be truly happy unless they’re together again.

 

"We can get Hyuna back and move to Australia," Jaehyun said solemnly as he rubbed circles into Doyoung’s supple skin. Doyoung sighed and shook his head.

 

"No, Hyuna has a mom and dad now. A good, normal life." Doyoung’s own words pained him, but he knew that reality would never favor them.

 

"So will we, Doyoung. I miss her so much," Jaehyun confessed. It was a long standing agreement to not speak on this topic, but Jaehyun couldn’t be damned. He misses their little Hyuna-bun.

 

"You see her everyday." Doyoung deadpans glaring at Jaehyun through the mirror and Jaehyun flinches as if struck.

 

"How did you--,"

 

"I watch her when she's on the playground.” Doyoung admitted as his eyes began to mist over, his hands planting themselves over Jaehyun’s. “I go to all her little ballet recitals, I sit in the corner of the little holiday shows. I love her. I will always love my daughter, but it will confuse her. She’s so young, Hyunnie.” Doyoung gulped anxiously but kept his composure with a small laugh. “South Korea doesn't even want to acknowledge carriers. The news call us biological fuck ups. I don’t want her to have to face that."

 

"We can't leave her.” Jaehyun said firmly, trying not to whine or shake Doyoung into understanding. “How can we be happy without her? I know….I know she isn’t mine biologically but I brought her into this world. You named her after me. She’s apart of me. She’ll always be my first born."

 

Doyoung is silent. Silent Doyoung is never a good thing. 

 

"When she's an adult, we’ll approach her.” Doyoung says indefinitely and Jaehyun’s heart soars. 

 

Before, Doyoung would shut down and never speak on it again. This was promising. “But right now, let's love her from afar. Let’s not muddle her life now. Aren't you excited for when _we_ have a baby?” Doyoung turned around in Jaehyun’s arms and he gave Jaehyun a bright smile, a smile that only Jaehyun ever sees. Doyoung’s eyes crinkle and his mouth goes so wide it threatens to split his face in half. “I'll give you a daughter that will be all yours."

 

Jaehyun’s heart rippled in joy, seeing his lover genuinely happy makes Jaehyun feel like he’s living the dream. Nothing was better than Doyoung and the thought of Doyoung pregnant with his seed make Jaehyun feel like the world was perfect. "Of course. Maybe we'll have a son?"

 

Doyoung nodded happily before Jaehyun led them to the bed, laying Doyoung down softly before kissing at his collarbone, easing them both to sleep.

☤

The next day Taeyong woke up earlier than expected.

 

The surge of emotions that overtake him when peaks over to the futon a few feet away nearly made Taeyong squeal in delight. 

 

Taeyong quickly and stealthily got off of his bed and peered over to see Yuta’s curled up into the comforter—his face buried into Taeyong’s hoodie. 

 

Taeyong placed a hand on his chest—holy shit, was he having a heart attack? Taeyong screwed his eyes shut to try to keep his heart at bay, but fuck it. Taeyong plucked one his eyes opened and smiled at the sleeping male. 

 

Taeyong really fucked up. 

 

Silently, Taeyong sneaks down stairs and turns the multiple alarms off to make it the kitchen and proceeded to pull out his iPhone to connect to the Bluetooth speaker and pressed on the first Keith Ape song he could find—because how can you make pancakes without listening to trap music? 

 

Taeyong was into to rapping along with the music that he didn’t realize that he made thirty perfect, fluffy pancakes until Haechan and Mark walked into the kitchen with new marks on their necks and bed hair.

 

"Where's Yuta's?" Haechan asked groggily as he sat down on at the bar where Taeyong had the pancakes, eggs, fruit and bacon on display. 

 

"Still sleeping--hey!” Taeyong began as he tapped Haechan on the knuckles with a sppon as he tried to reach for a strawberry. “Get your hands off--these are for Yuta!"

 

"For Yuta?” Taeil voice sounded as he leaned against the fridge in his robe and puffy face. “I went to sleep with you bitching about having to share your floor and now your making pancakes for him?"

 

"Mark, you never make pancakes for me!" Haechan pouted and Mark who was on autopilot, snapped out of it and quickly made his way to Haechan with large, sparkling eyes.

 

"If you want pancakes, I'll be more than glad to make some for you, babe." Mark said in a smooth, fluffy timbre as he brushed his fingertips through Haechan’s rusty hair.

 

Haechan giggled childishly as he hid his blushing face and Taeyong and Taeil proceeded to make gagging noises once Mark leans over and kisses Haechan on the lips.

 

When Ten and Johnny wake up they quickly bully Taeyong into making everyone pancakes. Ten quickly throws on an apron to help as Mark and Winwin venture out to the store for more eggs.

 

"How's Yuta?" Ten asks he starts cleaning up the eggshells and flour from the counter. Taeyong started shutting off the burners as Mark and Winwin came back from the store—Mark presenting Haechan with a flower before Winwin loudly proclaims how he wishes a certain someone would do the same.

 

"Sleeping, last time I checked.” Taeyong said quietly before turning fully to Ten. “Yuta….he… he had a night terror,"

 

"Oh! Was he OK?"

 

"Yeah, I comforted him.” Taeyong nodded more times than necessary before wringing the terry cloth in his hands nervously. “I--I paid attention to his boundaries and let him initiate like you said."

 

"Did you hug him?"

 

"Yeah, he was holding on to me.” Taeyong said slowly hoping that he didn’t do something wrong.  
Affection was not Taeyong’s strong point and the last thing he wanted to do is do any wrong to Yuta. “I held him...it was nice. I made sure to keep the light on and made him laugh before going to bed--oh and he wanted my hoodie,"

 

"The hoodie with the bleach stains? Why?" Ten asked as Taeyong shrugged. 

 

"He said the smell was calming. I did spray on that Givenchy cologne you got me on it earlier,"

 

Ten smiled, nudging Taeyong a bit. "Fucking awesome. I gathered some of my old clothes, he should fit them."

 

"Thanks, Ten."

 

Jaehyun walked in the main floor, looking like the dead mumbling about tea and was followed by Yuta. 

 

Taeyong felt like the sun was rising inside of his chest. 

 

Yuta's hair was tousled, his bruises weren't so bad and most importantly, he was in Taeyong's sweater. Yuta wasn't drunk with sleep but alert and smiling brightly as he greeted everyone with a smile and little bows; his smile widened and his face redden when their eyes met.

 

"Good morning, hyung." Yuta said coyly with a bow and Taeyong sighed and smiled.

 

"Good morning, Yuta."

 

Taeil raised an eyebrow and nudged Johnny who shook his head slowly as he chewed on a cube of cantaloupe.

 

"Did you sleep well?" Taeyong asked sweetly and Winwin raised an eyebrow before looking at Jaehyun who was equally surprised.

 

"Yes, thanks to you, Taeyong-hyung." Yuta’s voice was light, plush and Taeyong couldn’t stop smiling so hard.

 

"Yo, what did I miss?" Haechan asked looking at Taeil and Mark in confusion and Taeyong motioned Yuta to sit at the bar and Yuta did before presenting Yuta with a huge stack of fluffy, buttery golden pancakes, fluffy scrambled eggs and bacon and ham.

 

Yuta nearly pushed the bar stool back, his eyes filled with the fresh food and his mouth salivating.

 

"I-I-Is all this for me, hyung?" Yuta blushed and Taeyong leaned in from the opposite side of the bar and grinned wildly.

 

"Of course,” Taeyong was beaming. Johnny could not remember the last time Taeyong was ever this---smiley? “Next time I'll make you crepes,"

 

Taeyong watched as Yuta giggled, said a quick prayer before digging in. Yuta was trying to keep his manners about him, but it was obvious that he was starving. Taeyong leaned his cheek on his palm and watched Yuta eat contently realizing that he loves _just_ watching Yuta eat. The satisfaction of knowing that Yuta is eating and sincerely enjoying what Taeyong made was almost enough have Taeyong whip out his phone and record the precious mukbang. 

 

"What about the rest us?" Johnny frowned.

 

"Fuck the rest of you," Taeyong scoffed, his eyes never leaving Yuta who was no longer caring about who was watching as the other guys moved to the kitchen to dish out their own share.

 

Yuta finishes the entire meal with a burp and is immediately embarrassed as Taeyong takes a napkin wipes the syrup from the corner of his mouth.

 

"Was it tasty? Did you like it, Yuta?” Taeyong questioned gingerly and Yuta giggled, their eyes staring deep within each other and Taeyong never wanted to tear his eyes away from giggling Yuta.

 

"It was the best meal I've ever had, hyung. Thank you."

 

"Wait until I make you dinner and dessert." Taeyong said with a wink as he began to take the now empty plates from in front of him and Yuta covered his grin with his palm. 

 

"Don't spoil me, hyung."

 

"Too late," Taeyong winked before a door slamming upstairs made everyone jump in fright.

 

Fuck.

 

Seconds later, Doyoung makes his entrance, his orange hair disheveled and he was dressed in his all black robe and fluffy bunny slippers. His face was livid as he looked from the stranger to Taeyong and then to the rest. 

 

"Team meeting in the living room, **NOW**!" Doyoung bellowed, causing Yuta to shrink and look down at his lap in fear. Taeyong wanted to reach out and hold Yuta but pissed off Doyoung is the worst Doyoung. 

 

Doyoung stormed into the second living room without another word and Haechan let out a wail as the rest quickly scattered. 

 

“Taeil, get make him a cup of coffee, I’ll bring him some food, everyone else go, go, go!” Ten began panickily as Ten nearly slid and fell racing to the kitchen to splay food on a plate before racing to Jaehyun who was gnawing at his lip. 

 

"Did you butter him up?" Ten asked Jaehyun who gulped nervously.

 

"Yeah, but there's only so much dick I can suck, Ten.” Jaehyun mumbles as he and Ten follow Haechan and Taeil upstairs.

 

When Ten arrives upstairs to the second living room Yuta is shepherded to the loveseat on one side by Winwin while Taeyong is quickly trying to barter to Doyoung who was leaning against the wall, apparently not paying a single fucking mind to Taeyong, stirring a glass of brown liquor in his hand, a cigarette elegantly held in the other. 

 

"Doyoung, it's 11am. Have some breakfast," Ten began warmly before Doyoung let out a dry chuckle before sipping the Hennessey and shaking his head. 

 

"Oh no.” Doyoung began to laugh, but with no humor behind it. “I need this fucking drink after realizing _my_ leader just made a full course breakfast for a possible enemy but jack shit for the guy who got his ass stomped by EXO in exchange for all of us having 10 fingers instead of nine so **FUCK** the god damn breakfast!"

 

Mark and Haechan cringed at the harshness of Doyoung’s words as Doyoung downs the rest of his drink and stares down Taeyong who keep his eyes firm on Doyoung who puffs on his cigarette while glaring at Taeyong in disappointment. 

 

Neither of them saying anything for a while, before Doyoung stands up straight and walks over to Yuta, stopping right in front of the frightened male who had his head down. 

 

"Look up." Doyoung’s tone is cold and intimidating and Ten did not even have the chance to speak to Doyoung about how to treat Yuta; but Ten knew his place was not to intervene with whatever Doyoung had in mind. 

 

Yuta slowly looked up at the man towering above him. He had a chiseled jaw, pretty monolids and resembled a bunny rabbit who was itching for homicide. Yuta looked briefly into his eyes before looking down again. 

 

"What's your name,"

 

"Na Yuta."

 

"Liar.” Doyoung statement was hard as a slap in the face to Yuta who looked up frightened. “You're Japanese." Doyoung reaches out and holds Yuta’s chin more gently than expected as he examined Yuta’s face. "Deep duo-lid, thin Cupid's bow, high forehead and the Japanese do not follow the three-syllable name conjecture."

 

"I was adopted by my Korean step father when my mom remarried when I was 8 months old. I don't know what my original last name was." Yuta’s voice surprisingly more even than expected and Doyoung took another puff, inspecting Yuta once more. 

 

"Why were you at the Super Junior compound?"

 

"I…I…was given to Siwon from the ULSAN dealers," 

 

Doyoung circled the seat where Yuta sat, starting daggers into the trembling man. 

 

"Is Ryeowook the Red pregnant?" Doyoung asked firmly and Yuta nodded with no hesitation. 

 

"Yes, but last time he miscarried at around 4 months? Siwon is beyond nervous. Siwon is breaking but he’s showing it to everyone. That's all I know for sure." Yuta said calmly, despite his shaking. 

 

Doyoung frozen in his spot. If Yuta indeed was a plant, there would no way that he’d admit to the most precious member of SUJU being pregnant or reveal that it wasn’t Ryeowook first pregnancy. 

 

Such pertinent information was a treasure trove for NCT, who can sell this information to the other competing gangs. Doyoung stopped pacing in front of Yuta before taking a few steps back to inspect him. 

 

"What qualities do you have?” Doyoung asked a bit more interested than he ever wanted to express. “I don't want Siwon's chief cocksucker in my home, I'll admit,"

 

Yuta felt tears well up in his eyes at the callousness and Taeyong was furious but could not interfere. "I used to fight. I'm good with my hands...I’m good with making things... but not with weapons. I used to box when I was younger. Also, I'm good with math and chemistry." 

 

Yuta’s nervosa was tangible and Doyoung flicked his cigarette butt to the left carelessly before raising a skeptical eyebrow.

 

"How good with chemistry?"

 

"University level. I never finished but,” Yuta’s words were stressed and desperate, “I can try. I will try my hardest, sir. If I have the ingredients I can make whatever you want."

 

Doyoung shrugged a bit, not trying to showcase his excitement—chemists were nearly nonexistent in their field. You know what a chemist can make? Chemicals. Chemicals to help them—smoke bombs, gas screens—and drugs. If this Na Yuta could be a decent enough chemist to make meth—they could take over South Korea’s underground in six months. Cocaine was difficult to smuggle from South America, but if they could make their own methamphetamines or create their own lean to be added to soft drinks, the profits would be staggering. “And math, you said?"

 

"Probabilities and percentages are my strong point." Yuta cleared his throat. “I’m really go with mental math.”

 

Doyoung turned to the rest of his members and nodded to them. 

 

Taeyong let a sigh of relief. 

 

Doyoung didn’t say yes outright, but Doyoung was willing to let them get to a vote. That was promising. 

 

"OK,” Winwin began giving Yuta a friendly smile. “So whether you stay or have to leave is down to a vote. We all must vote unanimously.”

 

“Those in favor of Yuta staying say I," Johnny announced and a loud overflowing ‘I’ made Yuta’s heart soar and Taeyong felt his fingertips tingle at the brilliant smile.

 

"Those who oppose?" Winwin said flippantly just out of habit Doyoung sucked a deep breath.

 

“NAY! All the fucking ‘nays’ in the world.”

 

"Doyoung!" Taeyong shouted to Doyoung who picked up the mug from Taeil’s shocked grip and took a liberal sip. 

 

"Sorry, but I'm not fucking buying it.” Doyoung began perching himself on the couch and crossing his legs. “I mean—alright, I believe him, but I think Siwon got him dickwhipped and set him as a decoy or something.” Doyoung inspected his fingernails and pouted towards the man who was already crying silently. “Sorry Na Yuta, pack your pancakes and exit stage left."

 

Taeyong felt fire in his throat. "He's not leaving." Taeyong stood up and proudly strode over to Yuta and Taeyong had to use all of his mental strength to not pick up Yuta in his arms and hold him. Instead Taeyong stood in front of Yuta and faced Doyoung who was still nonchalantly sipping his coffee. “I don’t want him to leave.”

 

"We already voted, Taeyong." Johnny sighed and Ten, who was nervously looking away, trying not to scream and defend Yuta as a former victim of human trafficking himself—but he had to stay in his place. There was a hierarchy that was strictly in play for moments like these. He didn’t have enough clout to speak out against Doyoung but Ten was praying that Taeyong could work out a miracle. 

 

Taeyong glanced at everyone before sighing and fixing his jaw firmly for what he was about to say. 

 

"I like him."

 

Jaehyun choked.

 

Doyoung spat out his coffee. 

 

Ten’s eyes lit up.

 

Taeil let out a curse.

 

Mark and Haechan let out a gasp. 

 

Johnny raised an eyebrow.

 

Winwin wondered if it was _too_ early to have ice cream.

 

" _Like him_?” Doyoung cackled in laughter before wiping his chin free of the mocha. “You don't like _anyone_. I thought you were like an asexual being at this point." 

 

"You barely like me," Haechan frowned and Taeyong narrowed his eyes at Haechan.

"I'm going fight you one day, Donghyuck. I swear to God." Taeyong declared before Taeil spoke up. 

 

"You're taking responsibility for him?" Taeil asked and Taeyong looked over his shoulders to see Yuta with his head down, crying softly. 

 

"I...I'll take responsibility." 

 

"You wouldn't even take responsibility for eating my last cookie when we were 9, you fucker." Doyoung spat, disgusted as he put his mug down and stood up. 

 

"This is different." Taeyong said proudly. “I’ll will take full responsibility for Na Yuta—I don’t care what it is. I’ll take responsibility. We cannot just put him back on the street—he’s hurt and he needs m—he needs shelter.”

 

Doyoung looked upon Taeyong’s face.

 

Taeyong and Doyoung knew each other way before a life a crime was set out for them. Taeyong family lived next to the Kims for years. Doyoung considered Taeyong to be his true hyung and not Gongmyung. They have a bond and love that people would die for—a friendship that could transcend time and distances. When Doyoung was first pregnant with Hyuna, Taeyong created a fake robbery to rob his own uncle’s store to provide Doyoung with four months of shelter when Doyoung was excommunicated from EXO—something that no one would ever do. Most importantly, Taeyong loved Doyoung and Doyoung loved Taeyong. They were brothers and a blood relation couldn’t make them closer.

 

But they were different. Taeyong lead with his head and Doyoung leads with his heart—so this reversal of roles has Doyoung totally confused. 

 

“We’re going to regret this," Doyoung voice was low and serious. “You’re going to regret this.”

 

"You won't.” Yuta’s voice peak from behind Taeyong and Taeyong turned around to see Yuta standing up, trying to clear his eyes, but the poor boy was shivering in fear. “I swear, sir. I'll stay out of everyone's way. I'll lock myself in a room and I won't make a sound---I'm sorry that Taeyong made breakfast for me....I didn't ask but I'm so grateful.” Yuta’s tone was sincere and fragile as he bravely tried to sell himself. “I _don't_ want to be a liability…I don't have a home anymore but I've haven't been this happy since before I was taken. I can cook and clean. I…I'll make myself invisible."

 

Taeyong suddenly found himself reaching one of his hands out, and Yuta wordlessly took the hand. 

 

Doyoung felt a pang in his heart. In their 20-odd years of friendship, Doyoung had never seen Taeyong hold someone’s hand like it was as innate as breathing.

 

"I'm sorry. I'm not buying it and all decisions have to be unanimous.” Doyoung said softly, even hating himself a little. Of course, he wanted Taeyong to be happy like how he was with Jaehyun—but Doyoung had a gut feeling and his gut was never wrong. 

 

Doyoung began to walk away before Taeyong let out a pained sigh.

 

"February 19th, 201X." Taeyong announced as if it was a grand prize. 

 

Doyoung froze mid step and turned around to glare at Taeyong with hateful eyes for the first time in their lives. 

 

"You _cheap_ fucker," Doyoung spat to Taeyong before Doyoung quickly eyed Jaehyun who was already wide-eyed and trembling. Doyoung quickly shoved the others to the side before reaching for Jaehyun. “Jaehyun, come let’s go upstairs--,”

 

"That was when Jaehyun was kidnapped, wasn’t it?” Taeil asked furrowing his eyebrows and Doyoung flinched as if smacked when Jaehyun looked to the hand offered and then to Taeyong will curious eyes. 

 

"At that time his ransom was more than we made in a _year_.” Taeyong continued speaking to Doyoung even though he was now facing Yuta, who was sniffling softly as Taeyong thumbed his tears away, affectionately. “You told me if I found a way to get Jaehyun back, you would owe me for the _rest_ of your life."

 

"Taeyong!” Doyoung shouted at a furious pitch at the feeling of betrayal he was feeling at the moment. “You can't be fucking serious!"

 

“What did you do, hyung?” Jaehyun’s breath was at a fever pitch as he nudged Doyoung’s hand away to walk to Taeyong. “Taeyong-hyung, how did you get me out of that warehouse—alive?” Jaehyun always wanted to ask how did Taeyong manage to extract Jaehyun from an enemy camp three years ago. Doyoung said that it was rude to ask and that if he was grateful, to not mention it again. 

 

"You said I can cash that blank check _one_ time to ask you for anything and you wouldn't refuse." Taeyong said before kissing Yuta on the forehead. Yuta melted at the affection but was confused. The latter had no idea what what going on. Is he staying with Taeyong? Is he going to forced out of the compound? Betrayal? Is Taeyong risking his relationship with Doyoung just for him. 

 

"This is fucking ridiculous," Doyoung lit another cigarette before Taeyong snipped over his shoulder.

 

"What I had to do to get that money was fucking ridiculous,"

 

Jaehyun stepped closer to his boyfriend, his eyes wide and flooding with unshed tears."You never told how you got the ransom money, Doyoung."

 

Doyoung shook his head, his bottom lip trembling and his fingers were reaching for Jaehyun. This cant be happening right now. "Hyunnie, it doesn't matter--,"

 

"How did Taeyong get the money?" Johnny asked to Doyoung who shook his head as if it was a bad dream.

 

Jaehyun began, tears freely rolling down his face. "Bunny, ple--," 

 

"YOONOH!” Doyoung snapped, screaming at the top of his lungs. “IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS—YOU’RE HERE, RIGHT?! JUST SHUT UP AND GO EAT A FUCKING PANCAKE!"

 

Doyoung’s face was red and Jaehyun shrinkS as if physically pained.

 

Damn it, Doyoung lost his cool and now Jaehyun was staring at him with a tear stricken face and trembling limbs.

 

“Hyunnie, I’m sorry.” Doyoung began, his stoic wall crumbling as he tried to reach for his boyfriend. “I really didn’t mean to yell—I, I’m sorry. When I think of how you were stolen away from me I panic. It was the worst four days of my life and I don’t need you to know _how_ …just know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. No risk too big,” Doyoung bared his soul and Winwin, Mark and Haechan were in shock. They were not apart of NCT when Jaehyun was abducted but they knew that it happened—what shocked the three was Doyoung being so soft and delicate with Jaehyun. It was no secret they were together, but none of them has seen Jaehyun so hurt or Doyoung pleading like this.

 

It was silent for a moment as Jaehyun allowed Doyoung to placate him.

 

"I'm cashing that check.” Taeyong said boldly as he sat down on the seat next to Yuta, still holding his hand. “You owe me Kim Dongyoung— big. All I want is that Yuta stays with me--with us."

 

Doyoung is glaring at Taeyong from his sit next to Jaehyun whose head was on Doyoung’s shoulder as Doyoung rubbed his arms. 

 

"OK, _hyung_.” Doyoung spat venomously. “I get it. You're in love. But why?"

 

"I just....want to protect him.” Taeyong said exasperatedly. “Yuta's been through too much. I feel like I have to...like he's...like…” Taeyong began before sucking his teeth and stomping his foot in frustration. “I don't know—don’t ask me no deep-seated, fucking Dr. Phil questions with philosophy and shit--he stays because he likes my fucking pancakes!"

 

Taeyong’s sudden declaration made Johnny raise an eyebrow as everyone but Doyoung tried to stifle their laughter. Doyoung wanted to protest but Jaehyun now snuggling back in his arms, laughing at Taeyong’s antics and Doyoung took that moment to kiss his lover’s cheek and whisper apologies that Jaehyun accepted. 

 

"I like your pancakes," Haechan mumbled and Taeyong huffed in annoyance before looking at Mark. 

 

“I hate your boyfriend.”

 

"Na Yuta--you can stay.” Doyoung announced as he stood up before kissing Jaehyun’s hand. “But if ever betray us, it'll be your last feat."

 

Yuta stood up, his fingers still entwined with Taeyong’s. "Yes, sir. I promise you will not regret this."

 

The meeting is dismissed, and everyone splits apart. 

 

Taeyong takes the teary Yuta up the stairs to Taeyong’s bedroom and through the double glass doors that led into the paltry balcony, the warm sun and gorgeous Busan view greeting them fondly.

 

Once Taeyong slides the glass door close, he’s tackled by a hug. Taeyong regains his footing before circling his arms around Yuta’s tiny middle. 

 

"Taeyong, you’ve saved me.” Yuta mumbled into Taeyong’s neck, the later trying to desperately not to shiver at the proximity. Taeyong gently hold Yuta back, taking the moment and nuzzle his face in his hair, it smelled like shampoo and Yuta frame was so slight…Taeyong felt like he could finally breath after having the painful sensation of not being able to hold Yuta. Taeyong took another sniff of Yuta’s scent and he smelled a bit like his cologne….Taeyong thought Yuta smelling like him was fucking stellar.

 

"Don’t worry about Doyoung, he owes me a favor." Taeyong said rubbing Yuta’s upper back. 

 

"You're amazing." Yuta smiled, slowly pulling away. Taeyong mimicked the smile and Yuta felt his face flush. “I owe you so much. I want to thank you for standing up for me...risking so much for me." Yuta’s voice lowered slightly, his eyes shining. ntly. 

 

Taeyong shrugged, nonchalantly. "It's OK, honestly.” Taeyong finger’s brushed Yuta’s chocolate hair from his line of sight before landing his cheek. Yuta’s skin was soft and supple, Taeyong wanted to hold him all day. “You woke up too early and ate a little too fast. You can thank me by getting some rest.” 

 

Yuta’s eyes fell between the space between them before he slowly moved closer. Taeyong was a bit too surprised to step back as Yuta left no space between them. 

 

“Yuta?” Taeyong asked quizzically before Yuta stared into Taeyong’s eyes before suddenly sinking to his knees, their eyes still locked. 

 

Taeyong shook his head quickly. "Yuta--,"

 

"Shh, I just want to show my gratitude to you,” Yuta’s words were supple and slick and Taeyong almost folded as Yuta’s looked quickly to his crotch and back to up Taeyong’s wide eyes. “This is the least I can do--,"

 

Taeyong couldn’t move, Yuta’s long lashes against his ruby cheeks—his bottom lip glistened as Yuta continued to glare up with eyes filled with anticipation. 

 

Taeyong shook his head. "No, Yuta--stand up,"

 

"I...I don't mind,” Yuta smiled shyly, his fingers reaching to pull the drawstring on Taeyong’s pajamas, “I just really want to thank you the only way I know how..."

 

"Yuta!"

 

Taeyong gripped Yuta roughly by his shoulder, yanking him to his feet. Yuta’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he watched Taeyong shake his head and look down at the floor. Taeyong took a deep breath before speaking. 

 

"Yuta, I'm insulted," Taeyong ground out, his voice hard and unwelcoming. 

 

Yuta felt his breath in his lung grow hot with fear. Yuta didn’t want to insult Taeyong! Not at all! He needed Taeyong to know how much he _appreciates_ him. "I...I don't think I'm well enough to be fucked but if you want to--,"

 

Taeyong sighed disheartened and let Yuta go before stepping back and pacing around the tiny balcony. "I don't want _that_ type of thanks,"

 

"But Taeyong you wasted that chance on me! You--you helped me last night and you made me the best breakfast---,” Yuta began, his voice cracking and feeling pressure behind his eyes as he watched Taeyong lean against the rail, his back turned to him. Yuta felt like he was being physically hurt. He couldn’t have Taeyong unhappy with him; Taeyong was his only hero. “I…I…it's my scars, right?” Yuta stuttered sadly, his voice trembling as he gnawed at his lip. “No, it's because I'm a whore, right? Why would you want to fuck something as dirty as me? I'm so sorry!" Yuta’s eyes poured out hot tears and Taeyong quickly turned to face Yuta, in a few strides, he was cradling Yuta’s face, quickly shushing him sweetly. 

 

"Yuta, you are _not_ a whore. I don’t ever want you to say that, again. You're a victim of trafficking.” Taeyong felt helplessly as Yuta looked at him with docile eyes and a quivering lip. “You are gorgeous…jaw-dropping even bruised up like this but...I don't want to be thanked for anything I do for you--not in that way.” Yuta began to cry harder and Taeyong quickly pulled out one of the patio chairs out and eased Yuta into the seat as Taeyong kneeled in front of him, holding Yuta’s thin, trembling hands. “Yuta? Listen to me, OK? Your body is _sacred_. It belongs to _you_ … I don't want to take from it or you to give it to me for just being a decent person.” Taeyong didn’t know if he was making it worst at how hard Yuta was crying, but he needed to tell Yuta this. “I don't care if I give you the whole world on a silver platter, you may owe me--but you don't owe me your body or your freedom. OK, Yuta? You don't have to do that anymore."

 

Yuta nodded before wiping his eyes with a sweater covered paw, looking so small and endearing. 

 

"But I like you, hyung." Yuta’s voice was tattered with tears, but it was clear and Taeyong couldn’t help but blush.

 

Taeyong tried to hide his face and glanced around nervously before peaking at Yuta from the corner of his eye. "I...I'm...I like you, too.” Taeyong confessed quickly, a bit baffled at how he went from hating the whole world to wanting to give Yuta the entire universe in less than 24 hours. “I’m happy you like me. If we get to that point in the future…we’re you’d want to share…yourself with me, I'll happily accept it...if you want to.” Taeyong added the last sentence firmly, squeezing Yuta’s hand. “No pressure, I just...um, I--"

 

Taeyong words stopped before Yuta quickly leaned forward and gave Taeyong a quick kiss on the cheek. Taeyong instantly stood up and covered his face, backing up quickly until his back hit the railing. 

 

Yuta let out a full-bodied laugh at Taeyong’s super red face and open mouth as the older cupped his cheek, his eyes bright and dazzling. 

 

"Hyung, could you accept that?" Yuta asked cutely. Taeyong hide his face in the collar of his shirt, pulling his shirt so it covered even his forehead. Taeyong nodded rapidly as Yuta laughed and Taeyong’s cheeks ached as he smiled. 

 

Taeyong never stopped smiling since that morning.

℞

Weeks pass, and Yuta integrates himself a member of the team as if he always belonged.

 

After NCT formally accepted Yuta into the fold, Yuta had to subject himself to a blood oath swearing and rigorous testing due to his former occupation and the fact that almost all of the quarters are shared. 

 

Winwin had Yuta undergo steady testing for five days straight and a range of vaccines including TB, hepatitis and meningitis. Yuta did indeed has a STD that was in primary stages, an within a month had been cured and out of his system due to Winwin’s expertise. 

 

Yuta was humiliated and upset by his diagnosis, but Taeyong did not treat Yuta any different—despite reminding him to take his antibiotics every day and on time and pilling him with gummi vitamins every morning. 

Yuta also provided every single piece of information he knew about SUJU including the fact that SUJU planned on using the few noraebangs they owned as covers for their prostitution rings. This was severely important due to the most of the noraebangs in Ilsan belong to either EXO or BTS. NCT could profit by selling this information to RM the Ruthless who usually ends up having shoot outs with SUJU and is considered EXO/NCT’s direct competition—but an enemy of my enemies is my friend. Taeyong and Ten quickly explained to Chanyeol and Suho before calling a quick meeting with RM’s right hand man V the Vicious and earning 300,000 won off the information that Yuta provided—information that proved to be correct.

 

Yuta was quickly a great assets to the team, but some things made Taeyong question Yuta completely. 

 

Yuta hated, _hated_ peppermint. 

 

The smell had Yuta running to the nearest bathroom and retching instantly. Winwin assured the team that Yuta was not pregnant, probably not a carrier and that his reaction to the smell and flavor must contribute to a prior horrible experience. 

 

So after one Wednesday, Taeyong demanded that anything peppermint was banned, to Jaehyun’s total dismay because he loved his afternoon peppermint tea. All the toothpastes were changed to cinnamon and only fruit flavored gums were allowed.

 

Another thing was buckets. 

 

Yuta fucking _hated_ buckets and refused to be around them. 

 

Yuta would do every single chore—washing dishes, taking out the trash, cleaning the gutters, sanitizing Winwin’s tools after he removed a kidney from someone who owed the group money and couldn’t pay, he changed the oil for all of the cars when Johnny had the flu, translating the manga and anime for Mark and Haechan, going to the corner store when everyone was just too lazy to do it—Yuta did it all with a smile on his face and pep in his step—but mopping, he couldn’t do simply because of the old paint bucket that was used. 

 

So one Thursday night, Doyoung came home with one of those yellow janitor buckets. 

 

Yuta glomped Doyoung with a hug and Doyoung didn’t want to admit how cute it was to see Yuta fangirl over a bucket—until Yuta proceeded to pour a can of grape soda on the kitchen tile before happily mopping it up fearlessly while mumbling singing ‘I Am The Best’ by 2NE1. 

 

Doyoung hates, _hates_ to admit that he’s happy that Yuta is with them. Within a matter of months Yuta and Doyoung became close—both practicing their singing in the late afternoon and talking about space and science for hours. Doyoung even goes out of his way to make sure Yuta is included in the group meetings even though Yuta wasn’t an actual peddler. Yuta even came up with suggestions on possible bartering methods that actually panned out quite nicely due to Yuta’s great knack for numbers and probabilities.

 

But no one was prouder than Taeyong. 

 

Taeyong would come home from his cover job as a retail associate at a small accessory shop to see Yuta helping Mark and Haechan with their college school work—sometimes even rolling his sleeves up to re-read on things that he had forgotten. 

 

Taeyong thought Yuta was beautiful, especially when he had his nose in a chemistry book jotting down notes. 

 

Taeyong thought Yuta was like a demigod when Yuta would sit on the counter of the kitchen while Taeyong cooked.

 

“Hyung~, can I have a bite? Please?” Yuta whined one evening, four months later. Yuta was dressed in a t-shirt that he now filled out as the newly gained weight fell onto his body perfectly. Taeyong raised an eyebrow to Yuta who’s legs poked from his shorts, no longer sticklike, but twined with muscle from his evening jogs with Winwin and Taeil. His skin had a soft glimmer of gold from playing soccer with Mark and Haechan. Yuta’s hair was now a purple gradient due to Ten constantly using Yuta was a hair dummy in exchange for Yuta raiding the Thai boy’s closet. Yuta’s arms were also well-defined due to the constant training and bouts Jaehyun put him through—Yuta was an impressive martial artist and had regained a bit of boxing from the past and Jaehyun was excited to finally have a sparring partner that gave him a challenge. Yuta’s shirt also had an oil stain since earlier to help Johnny maintenance the slew of vehicles in the garage. Yuta was effortless playing with a switchblade in his left hand, twirling them effortlessly—his lessons with Doyoung on weaponry aptly applied. 

 

Taeyong looked over to Yuta who pouts—still gentle and lovable. Taeyong would always drag Yuta into the kitchen to sit at the island and talk as Taeyong made elegant and gourmet meals for Yuta—and only Yuta—while Taeyong only made rice and kimchi for the rest.

 

Taeyong wouldn’t say he’s whipped, but it’s obvious that Yuta has a hold on him and Taeyong is alright with that. 

 

Taeyong picks up a piece of _bœuf à la Bourguignonne_ with the cooking chopsticks from the pot and carefully blows on it before feeding it to Yuta. Taeyong tried not to focus too much on Yuta eating the piece of meat, but Yuta’s plump lips were too much.

 

Taeyong felt like he was dying within the last few months. Yuta was the most beautiful, lovable and _perfect_ person Taeyong’s has ever met. 

 

Every moment that Taeyong was conscious, all he wanted to do was kiss Yuta, hold Yuta, to whisper and protect Yuta as much as possible. 

 

Taeyong did not like that the rest of the group had taken initiative to train Yuta up for debuting as an actual member. 

 

Taeyong wanted Yuta to stay at home, eat whatever he desired and be comfortable—Taeyong did not want Yuta to learn about knives [Doyoung], or how to properly strangle someone [Jaehyun] or how to pickpocket [Haechan] or decipher any language with 15 base words [Mark] or how to change a clip in less than two seconds [Taeil] or how to remove a kidney in 15 minutes with only a pen, a lighter and floss [Winwin] or how to weigh a quarter kilo of coke without a scale [Johnny] or extract the perfect amount of information from a witness in two minutes [Ten]! 

 

But there Yuta was—happy and sufficient. Yuta and Taeyong also grew closer as time passed. Taeyong, of course respected Yuta’s boundaries and never initiated contact and he didn’t need to. 

 

Yuta wouldn’t let Taeyong walk past without giving him a smile, reaching for his hand or flat out hugging him. Taeyong loved the affection, even though at first, Taeyong was so shy and nervous around the other guys—but before he knew it, he’d kiss Yuta on the cheek with no hesitation while they watched TV or before they went to bed. Yuta’s gentle expressions were enough for Taeyong to live on forever. Yuta was supposed to move into the suite under Taeyong and above Mark and Haechan—but Taeyong quickly nixed the idea citing Yuta’s nightmares—even though Japanese man only had one the entire time he was there. 

 

Every night, Taeyong and Yuta would sit on the space between Yuta’s fluffy futon and Taeyong’s bed and talk about everything and anything. Taeyong told Yuta about his home life before he came to NCT. It wasn’t bad at all. It was normal and traditional—with an older sister and a puppy named Ruby—up until his father died and suddenly he had to find his way to feed his family. Doyoung, who lived next door always took cared of him and before he knew it, he and Doyoung were runners for EXO and never looked back. 

 

Yuta was very reluctant to speak, but Taeyong was fine with that. Yuta was attentive and supportive—he never forgot anything Taeyong ever told him—even remembering that Taeyong doesn’t like onions in his eggs or that Taeyong only writes in black ink. 

 

Every night ended the same…Yuta would ask for a hug goodnight and Taeyong would wrap Yuta in his arms and kiss his forehead before Yuta would fall asleep in Taeyong’s hoodie. 

 

One Saturday morning, Taeyong wakes up to see Yuta’s futon empty. Taeyong searches his— _their_ room and realizes that his Yves Saint Laurent suit is missing and a pair of his TUMI socks were gone. 

 

Taeyong rushes down stairs to see that the alarms were turned on but Yuta was nowhere to be found. Taeyong was about to wake up the house when the door open and the alarm was beeped off.

 

Yuta turned the corner and Taeyong almost wept. 

 

Yuta looked incredible in his suit, he filled it out so well and had his hair gelled back fashionably to show off his forehead. He was wearing a solid grey bowtie and was carrying a small bouquet of posies and a paper bag. Yuta smiled widely. 

 

“Good morning, Taeyong-hyung.” Yuta’s voice sound like he was singing with the sun and glimmering with the clouds. Taeyong felt his heart clench painfully as if he was being punched—but he was not heartbroken, he wasn’t sad…he was…he was…

 

Yuta held out the bouquet to Taeyong who looked at the wild flowers in mild shock before receiving them. They were blue, yellow and orange blooms held by a simple burlap twine.

 

“I saw them on my way back and they remind me of you.”

 

“Where did you go so early?” Taeyong asked staring at Yuta’s handsome smile as the younger man reached in the paper bag and motioned for Taeyong to follow him to the dining room table as Yuta laid of a series of beaded rope on the table.

 

“I went to church,” Yuta said proudly and Taeyong cocked his head to the side. It wasn’t the first time Yuta left the compound—Yuta was never restricted even though Doyoung and Taeyong wanted to keep him in the mutli-story apartments above a ramen shop but Yuta always came back—he never stayed out long and was even trusted with the cars—the cars were all tracked and Taeyong discovered that the only place Yuta goes is to the library by Ten’s university and back within two hours. Taeyong knew Yuta would come back—but the thought that he had left made Taeyong realize that he never wanted Yuta to leave. 

 

“Church?” Taeyong asked eying the lengthy necklaces that were different in pattern and colors. 

 

“Yeah. I haven’t been in forever…when I was…when I was stolen…I thought God forgot about me. I thought He hated me and I was cursed.” Yuta began solemnly as he fiddled with the green and blue necklace that fell into a bronze cross at this chest. “I thought I was forgotten and then NCT came along,” Yuta said with a small sniffle before looking up at Taeyong with a red nose and glistening eyes as he picked up a silver rosary with light blue string and matching cross. “Then _you_ came along.”

 

Taeyong felt like he couldn’t believe it when Yuta slipped the rosary over Taeyong’s head and carefully fixed it on his neck. “I prayed over each other them as I made them. I prayed that Mark and Haechan get good grades, I prayed that Doyoung and Jaehyun get to settle and have that family they always wanted….I prayed that Ten and Johnny get to repay that mean, old Jamaican lady with a surprise visit and a meal…I prayed that Taeil will tell Winwin how he really feels and for you…I prayed that I can be happy and by your side...always.”

 

Taeyong didn’t get to respond because at that time, everyone else woke up and Yuta quickly presented everyone with their individual rosary—Mark was especially touched since his parents were gospel singers before their untimely demise.

 

A week later, Taeyong knew he fucked up. 

 

He was in love. 

 

“We have a drop in Myeongdong,” Taeyong announced suddenly when his phone came with an alert from Chanyeol. Everyone was currently watching a movie in the den as it neared 9PM. Yuta looked up at Taeyong from his spot in his arms. 

 

Yuta face twisted in confusion—it wasn’t their first drop since he’d become a member but Myeongdong was one of the most dangerous places at night. 

 

“What? Right now?” Yuta whimpered, and the rest of the guys quickly raced to their rooms.

 

“Yuta, you stay!” Doyoung shouted as he checked his phone for the time. “Everyone you, have 5 minutes to put on your suits. The location in not too far from Monsta X’s stomping grounds—everyone needs to wear their Kevlar!”

 

Yuta stood alone in the middle of the den as everyone zipped around, stuffing knives in their shoes and slipping on their gloves as Mark and Haechan quickly loaded their assault rifles—the almost cute cluelessness on their face moments ago when they were arguing over ‘Hello Counselor’ completely gone as Mark slung the huge hunk of deadly metal over his shoulder. Mark smiled his cheesy grin to Yuta. 

 

“Don’t worry, Yuta-hyung. We’ve been doing this for so long—it’s nothing.” 

 

Haechan nodded as he fixed Mark’s tie. “This is like date night, isn’t it?”

 

Mark snorted before handing Haechan his sub machine gun with a kiss as the younger of the group tucked them behind his waist. 

 

Ten walked quickly walked through the kitcken, his ear litered with earrings as he chewed on a huge piece of pink bubble gum as he stalked through the dining room like a million bucks, holding on to an all-black motorcycle helmet with the flag of Thailand on the shield.

 

“Everyone who’s dressed and strapped—head downstairs. Taeil will be handing out the earpieces. Mark, Channie and Winwin—take the drop top Lexus and tail me and Johnny—we’ll be on the Ducati—Mark, you drive.”

 

Haechan looked affronted when Ten toss the keys to Mark, clearly offended. “OMG, I ran over one teensy, eensy person and suddenly I can’t drive.”

 

“Jae and Doyoung will drive in the SUV and Taeyong and Taeil will ride behind the truck to ensure we’re not ambushed from the rear. To get to EXO’s headquarters is a forty minute drive and Jongin-hyung says we have to be their in 20. Head out!” 

 

“Wait!” Yuta cried and everyone froze and turned to him and the Japanese man tried to contain his emotions.  
“You…you will return right? We…we have to finish the show.” Yuta said fearfully and Johnny smiled fondly. 

 

“We have your rosaries, don’t we?”

 

“We’ll be fine. This is our profession.” Winwin said with a perky voice as he gnawed at a chicken wing before Ten smacked the fried chicken out of his hand and it fell the floor. “What the fuck, Chittaphon?!” Winwin whined looking at the soiled chicken sadly. “I can’t have a snack?!”

 

“Who the fuck eats chicken in Fendi?! And greasy fingers and a hair triggers is not a smart idea!”

 

“I can’t shoot at people on an empty stomach!”

 

“Enough,” a firm voice from the staircase had everyone falling quiet as Taeyong stepped from the staircase dressed in an immaculate all black Gucci suit, tailored perfectly to his frame—Yuta’s handmade rosary peaking from the collar as Taeyong had a motorcycle helmet with horns and the word ‘NCT’ and number ‘127’ etched into the side.

 

Taeyong looked fucking delectable and his gaze was stony and cold. 

 

“Everyone needs to be downstairs and in their respected vehicle before I get there.” Taeyong voice was nothing like the caring tone that he had any other time—but Yuta couldn’t be too surprised. 

 

Taeyong’s moniker was TY the Tyrant for a reason.

 

Everyone nodded and quickly headed out, waving and shooting peace signs to Yuta who tried not to break down as he watched them leave until it was just Yuta and Taeyong. 

 

Taeyong’s eyes soften a bit before he quickly cupped at Yuta’ cheek. 

 

“Please be safe,” Yuta croaked as he began to sniffle harshly trying desperately not to bawl his eyes out in front of Taeyong. 

 

Taeyong kissed Yuta’s forehead softly and lovingly before pulling away and pressing their foreheads together.

 

"If I don't come back, I left my sweater in the drawer--,"

 

Yuta attacks Taeyong with a strong hug before pulling back quickly, straightening his lapel, and thumbing the rosary on his neck. "Just…please come back to me, hyung. I'll be waiting for you."

 

Yuta feels Taeyong’s strong hold on his cheek and Taeyong brushes their nose together softly. Yuta shuddering at the intimacy, whimpering. 

 

“Please come back to me, Taeyong. I need you.”

 

“I’ll return to you. I promise. I don’t care how it happens, I will return to you.” Taeyong’s lips ghost over Yuta’s for a moment before he steps back and bolts through the door. 

 

Yuta sinks into the floor and cry, praying that they return safely.

 

Yuta stays in that same spot, facing at the door and eventually falling asleep until three hours later the alarm is triggered off and they walk in.

 

Yuta feels like he floating and suddenly he’s laying down on a bed that smelled like Taeyong and as soft as his touch.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“I’m here right here, darling.” Taeyong said sweetly as he plucked Yuta’s hair behind his ear gently. Yuta slowly pried his eyes open. His heart melting at Taeyong’s little bright smile and damp hair.

 

That night, the hoodie stayed in Taeyong’s drawer and the futon was not folded out. 

 

From that night and every night after, Yuta stayed between Taeyong’s sheets and drowns in the comforting scent. Taeyong felt his insides melt as Yuta slipped his fingers in Taeyong’s sleep shirt, his soft finger things gliding across Taeyong’s back as Taeyong buries his face into Yuta’s collarbones making Taeyong feel more alive than their vicious drop in Myeongdong.

 

Taeyong kisses at the soft spot on Yuta’s neck under his left ear and Yuta shivers and Taeyong adores it. 

 

OK, so Taeyong is very much aware that he fucked up...but he’s OK with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ☤
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> It's a proven fact that if you want your pancakes to be perfect, you must listen to trap music as you make them. This is just a fact. Don't argue with me.
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> \--
> 
> Thanks for reading! Any favorite parts or quotes? Thanks for showering this fic with love, I don't even think I deserve it!
> 
> ☤


	3. Medial Collateral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait! So, so many things have happened. I've written the reason why is on my chapter notes for chapter 21 of "Bad Habits".
> 
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> Also. HOW NOBODY POINTED OUT THAT I WAS SPELLING 'Siwon' WRONG?! Ya'll suppose to look out for a sister! LOL.
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>  
> 
> Anyone else reading the #btsoutcaston twitter? I DON'T TRUST HOSEOK, MY GUY.
> 
>  
> 
> I don't do this often, but I'm dedicating this chapter to @le_arynz. I love her dearly. She's a sweetheart who always messages me with love and care about myself and my family. She's the sweetest person and I love her dearly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ☤
> 
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> _ me·dial co·llat·eral li·ga·me·ta·rum_  
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> ········
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> ANATOMY: The medial collateral ligament is one of the four major ligaments of the knee. Its primary function is to **resist** valgus forces on the knee.
> 
> ☤

"Jagi, I think they're trying to kill me," Ryeowook sobbed as Siwon gnawed at his lip, petting his lover’s rusty red hair. It was 2 o'clock in the morning and Siwon was awaken by the terrible sound of Ryeowook retching violently. Siwon who was barely rested didn't waste a moment of time flying down empty streets to get his pregnant fiancé to their private doctor. Despite the late hour, the mafia doctor’s office was open and private.

 

"No, honey--it's just your body, OK?" Siwon said calmly as he hushed his panicked lover, whose face was gaunt and pale. 

 

Siwon felt like he was going to die. 

 

It was no joke. Siwon is a sociopath--completely detached from basic human emotions and empathy--but that was before Ryeowook. Ryeowook is the only exception and Siwon fell in love with the boy with the bright eyes and softest lips--that was before Siwon felt actual fear at the thought that he could not protect Ryeowook always. 

 

Yet, every moment Siwon looked at his Wookie, he felt happiness—an emotion Siwon was sure was violently snatched from him when he was eleven. 

 

But to see Ryeowook now, gut full of his seed but now struggling for breath made him frightful. "Wookie, it's OK. I read on the parenting forums that this happens sometimes because your testosterone is turning into a soft form of estrogen. It's OK. It's very hard for even women to carry twins. It's OK,"

 

Ryeowook allows Siwon to stroke his hair and Ryeowook despite being sweaty and shivering, nodded weakly trying to placate his fiancé even though he, himself was in a crisis. 

 

Ryeowook always thought about Siwon first, even though he knew the notorious murder was capable of handling himself--Ryeowook knows a side of Siwon that no one knows--and no one would ever believe. 

 

Ryeowook sighed tired and sickly as he felt bile try to rise. Something wasn't right, this wasn't Ryeowook first pregnancy--he's never gone this far along--but he knew this wasn't just nausea and some Braxton-Hicks. 

 

This was not going well.

 

"Is this because I didn't eat the carrots?" Ryeowook voice was broken by a sob as he placed a trembling hand on his tummy as he sat on the luxurious doctor's examination table. "I don't like carrots, but I'll try harder to eat more carrots,"

 

"Shh, my love. It's my fault." Siwon's eyes were tearing up and the gentleness in his voice made Ryeowook freeze in fright. 

 

He only saw Siwon cry once. 

 

Not when they had their first miscarriage, not when Leetuek was betrayed by his own father, not when Siwon's beloved grandma died--the first and only time Ryeowook ever seen Siwon cry was Ryeowook announced he was pregnant again after two years from their first miscarriage, this time with twins. 

 

"I will do better as a father to our children and husband to you.” Siwon’s bottom lip trembled and his eyes glistened as he placed one of his large hands on Ryeowook’s tummy. “I promise to make sure that I'll make the carrots much tastier for you three, OK?"

 

"Yes, Wonnie." Ryeowook whimpered before turning his head and dry coughing.

 

Siwon patted his back and allowed Ryeowook to rest a bit. 

 

"Sit tight, OK?"

 

"Wonnie, I want to go home." Ryeowook said weakly, sighing softly. "I miss home."

 

"We have a new home, its prettier." Siwon said kissing Ryeowook's clammy fingers. "And it's far away from trapping...." Siwon words drifted away from him thinking about the nice, upscale bungalow on the first floor with stone gates, and Japanese style backyard where Ryeowook and he spent most of their evenings in the hammock. Ryeowook would waddle into the hammock between Siwon's knees and Ryeowook would sing as Siwon rubbed his swelling belly. The hideout was away from sin, prostitution, drugs and most importantly Siwon wouldn’t hear the screams that swarm in his nightmares and didn't dream about death. It was bliss. "It’s safe. It's quiet and luxurious, just like you."

 

"Don't go!" Ryeowook wailed gripping at his lover’s hand weakly. "I don't feel sick when you're not here--the twins...they behave when their daddy is near,"

 

Siwon places his hand on the stomach and rubs it fondly. He still can't believe under the stretched-out skin lies the physical embodiment of the love he has for Ryeowook. 

 

He felt a tinkling under his fingertips where a soft kick was--and it scared Siwon. On the right side was their girl, and her kicks were always sudden and strong--making Ryeowook either giggle or frown at her tenacity—but now Ryeowook felt pain. Siwon kissed at the right side and then to the left where their more docile son was usually.

 

"Behave for your, appa." Siwon all but begged to the tummy, placing his forehead on the swell. "You guys have just a few more months, then appa can rest and daddy promises--I will stay up with you two all night. OK? Let's give appa a flowery pregnancy from here on out, for daddy's sake? Please?"

 

Swift strong kick on the right followed by a gentle flutter on the left made Siwon choke up and Ryeowook smiled.

 

"They _always_ listen to you. You’re a wonderful father already,"

 

Siwon stood up and kissed his fiancé forehead. "I'm going to talk to the doctor. I wonder what takes so fucking long for blood work.”

 

Siwon closes the door on his way out before his face of peace molds into something much, _much_ more sinister.

 

Siwon brushes past the illegal, late night nurses and nearly kicks in the laboratory door in.

 

The nurses jumped up in fear before crying out as Siwon began shouting immediately. “Everyone _but_ the doctor needs to get the fuck out before I turn this lab into a slaughter house!”

 

The doctor was peeking out from under one of the lab tables as the women ran out quickly. Dr Hwang Han was a portly man who was a formerly licensed doctor who went underground after it was found that he would peddle the organ of the nearly deceased. He was valuable to SUJU, Siwon could admit that, he patched him up more than a handful of times and saved lives—but right now there was only three lives he was worried about saving.

 

"What the hell is going on with my fiancé and our babies?!" Siwon demanded before the doctor sighed and shook his head as he stood up meekly.

 

"He has been poisoned," the doctor said solemnly, looking at the papers in front of him. “Ryeowook has been poisoned.”

 

Siwon's head was spinning and then it went blank for just a moment before filling with red. 

 

"Poisoned?!" Siwon spat totally confused. 

 

How was Ryeowook _poisoned_? 

 

Siwon thought about all the things that Ryeowook ate—and he knew them all because Siwon personally prepares every, single meal that his lover eats! It was all organic, homegrown veggies and cuts of meat from the halal meat market that he had tested _every_ time--the last time Ryeowook had meat was two weeks ago! Throughout the whole pregnancy--Ryeowook was frisky, happy and energetic --yesterday Ryeowook went swimming in their pool---he was fine! Suddenly in the middle of the night he was sick. "He was perfectly fine yesterday! My son and daughter were perfect yesterday!"

 

"It's a slow acting poison, administered three months ago called Serpentine Ink.” Doctor Hwang stated meekly as Siwon began to mutter and pace erratically as the doctor continued. “If he doesn't go to an ER he and your unborn twins will die,"

 

Siwon felt like he could hear the snap in his mind.

 

"You're a fucking doctor!" Siwon screamed--Siwon literally screamed as if set ablaze by hellfire. 

 

This can't be happening.

 

Who would-- _well_ , Siwon knows a list as long as the day at the numerous amounts of people who would want Ryeowook killed--but three months ago-- Siwon told his beloved uncle who created SUJU that he would have to take a sabbatical to ensure Ryeowook is able to give birth happily and safely. His uncle was not pleased that Siwon was smitten enough to leave temporarily but allowed it for the sake of keeping the family lineage in line. Siwon was the only relative and as much as his uncle wasn’t too fond of the fact Ryeowook was a male—their family bloodline would continue at the very least. Siwon’s uncle even became a bit happy when Siwon presented him with an ultrasound. 

 

"Save my family and I will give you the world at your feet! Wookie cannot emotionally or mentally survive another miscarriage!"

 

Siwon thought about how devastated Ryeowook was when they lost their first child at 4 months. He found Ryeowook in the shower in a pool of blood sobbing around nine am after going to get them breakfast. Siwon was only out for an hour…just one hour due to the line at Starbucks because the passionfruit tea Ryeowook wanted was sold out and Siwon had to go to three others. 

 

Siwon never left Ryeowook alone for more than an hour again. 

 

Ryeowook didn’t eat for a week and only Siwon's impromptu proposal and marriage plans brought Ryeowook out of his depression. 

 

If they lost their twins at the 6 month mark after they've gotten ultrasounds, baby names and even a private home and location of their nest and confinement, Ryeowook would not mentally survive and Siwon cannot go on without Ryeowook.

 

But if he were to take Ryeowook to a public ER… it's frightfully dangerous. Not only are their faces well-known to police--Ryeowook being a carrier may mean that they would attempt to take their twins and sterilize Ryeowook like the government has been doing for centuries to carriers in the Korean peninsula...

 

But nothing's more dangerous then living without Ryeowook.

 

Siwon snarled at the doctor. “Stay right there, don’t even try to leave.”

 

Siwon turned on his heels and slammed the lab door shut. 

 

“Leeteuk, come here!” Siwon called for his best friend who was guarding the entrance with Donghae the Domino. 

 

Leeteuk came from door the hall, dressed in a deep blue suit and swollen eyes. Leeteuk was the best marksman of the group and was Siwon’s only friend. Somehow, Leeteuk understood Siwon ever since they were kids and was always at his side. Siwon appreciated him and Leeteuk knew it even if he never heard it from Siwon. 

 

“Yeah? Is Wooks alright?” Leeteuk asked quickly and Siwon paused for a second before shaking his head. Leeteuk’s bottom lip trembled. 

 

“Look, I can’t have you cry on me right now, OK? I need you to be strong. I need you to save my life right now.”

 

“Anything you need, Siwon.” Leeteuk nodded and Siwon sighed. 

 

“I need you to take him to the emergency room. The twins’ lives are in danger—Ryeowook’s—my _whole_ life is in danger.” The desperation on Siwon’s voice was tangible and painful, but Leeteuk nodded.

 

“Hyung, I will do whatever you say but what if they take the twins? My niece and nephew—I don’t have any family—just you guys!”

 

“I know, Teukkie.” Siwon said softly before roughly shoving Leeteuk on his shoulder—a habit of when they were younger. “I know and I don’t want you to bury anymore people. If you love me, you will do this for me. If you get caught--,”

 

“I don’t get caught.” Leeteuk said firmly. “I have connects at Sogang University hospital. Loyal connects.”

 

Siwon sighed and nodded his head. “I can always rely on you. You’re the perfect godfather.”

 

“And best man! Heechul thinks he’s gonna be the best man and I don’t want to break his dreams but,”

 

Siwon let out an uncharacteristic giggle and Leeteuk mirrored it before shaking his head and walking back down to hall to prepare for their exit.

 

Siwon bit his lip before walking to Ryeowook’s door and quietly stepping in. His labored breaths filled the stagnant air. 

 

"Wonnie?"

 

"Yes, my love? I’m here."

 

Ryeowook visibly cheers up for a moment at Siwon’s sweet tone. "What did the doctor say?"

 

"The twins are just a bit underfed. My fault. I should of have let you eat a bit more sweets." Siwon lies smoothly, wiping the small trace of blood from the corner of his fiancée mouth quickly so Ryeowook wouldn't notice. "We have to take you to a hospital."

 

"No, Siwon!" Ryeowook shook his head, frighten out of his wits. "They'll take Jisoo and Jisung away as soon as they are born! They treat us carriers like fucking aliens! They're try to treat our babies like fucking science projects!"

 

"Wookie, I will only do what's best for you and our Ji-Jis." Siwon's voice was trembling, his fear was getting increasingly difficult to hide. "If we don't get you to an ER I could lose all three of you. I can't let that happen.” Siwon sucked in his bottom lip before looking down, breathing raggedly. “What did I promise you all those years ago?"

 

"Siwon," Ryeowook frowned and Siwon simply squeeze his lovers hand, eyes shining.

 

"What did I promise you, Kim Ryeowook?"

 

Ryeowook nodded weakly. "That if I gave you a chance, I'd never regret it,"

₷

It all started twelve years ago when Ryeowook was 19, kicked out from his parents’ home after he applied for his mandatory conscription after graduating from his university early. Ryeowook was a quiet, diligent child and suddenly he was abandoned and disowned for no other reason that he could control.

 

He was a carrier and essentially--a faulty human--and unfit for service and to his country--unfit to live.

 

Ryeowook had lived a sheltered life up to that point but couldn't support himself since any and all employers had access to his medical records and the discrimination against carriers were violent and sometimes deadly. 

 

So, there he was in the middle of Busan working at a tteobeoki stall with a financing degree and living in a bathhouse, homeless.

 

"Cheer up, sweetie." 

 

Ryeowook was glowering as he stirred the spicy rice cakes when he looked up to see the most beautiful man he'd ever seen in his life. The man was wearing an expensive, meticulously perfect gray suit and the prettiest smile Ryeowook had ever saw in his life. 

 

"You know, if you ever gave me the chance…I promise you would never regret it." Were the next words the man said with a charming voice and soft grin as Ryeowook nervously passed him his cup of tteobeoki, trying not to stare but Ryeowook couldn’t. The man paid for his tteobeoki and winked at Ryeowook before walking away. 

 

Ryeowook felt bubbles of joy in his skin for the first time. 

 

Soon, the tteobeoki sales weren't enough and Ryeowook was scouted for what he thought was a modeling agency but instead was a brothel and was kidnapped, tagged with an ULSAN brand on his ankle and placed in one of the many Super Junior brothels.

 

The first night he was told he was going to be "broken in" by the owner’s sick, psycho nephew who was fond of hurting all the pretty things he could get his hands on. Great, so he knew that he was going to be raped. 

 

Ryeowook was told explicitly to act like he hated it. Ryeowook didn’t know anyone would fucking enjoy it.

 

What he didn't expect when he was sitting on a king size bed, smelling like flowers and dressed in a elegant, red embroidered robe was to see the beautiful man from the tteobeoki stand from six months ago would be strolling in with a cigarette between his lips.

 

Ryeowook froze; petrified and feeling faint. 

 

He never forgot the man’s voice, his smile, his face…Ryeowook didn’t want to admit how he dreamed of seeing his again…but fuck, not like this. 

 

“You…you’re…”

 

"You're the tteobeoki kid, aren't you?” Siwon smiled brightly as he meekly bowed his head in acknowledgement and quickly put out his cigarette as if embarrassed. “I mean…I know you are. I'd never forget your face."

 

Ryeowook’s eyes began to fill with tears as he sat on his heels on the bed, to present himself like he was instructed to do. “T…thank you for remembering me, sir.” Ryeowook continued to look down at his lap, covered with the gorgeous gold threads as his now slightly longer hair covered his eyes. 

 

He heard the door lock and a shuffling of clothes before he felt the bed dip a bit in front of him.

 

Ryeowook felt conflicted, yes, the man was beautiful and invaded his thoughts more than once, but he wanted to leave. 

 

"My name is Choi Siwon." 

 

Ryeowook looked up to see that the man only removed his suit jacket and sat at the edge of the bed. His voice was clear and bright and he even gave Ryeowook a little nod in respect.

 

"My name is Dandelion."

 

"No, what's your real name?” Siwon smiled meekly as he still sat a respectful distance away from Ryeowook. If Ryeowook didn’t know better…Siwon looked…shy? “Can I have your real name? Not the shit the traffickers gave you?"

 

"Kim Ryeowook,"

 

"Such a pretty name. Are you hungry? You like chicken?"

 

The whole night was incredible. 

 

Siwon broke the ice by asking about Ryeowook and asking him questions that made Ryeowook feel like he was talking to a neighbor that just moved in or a new kid in class. Siwon even and ordered chicken and beer, turned off his phone and the two talked for hours before the door was suddenly unlocked by the third hour—right in the middle of Siwon cackling at the old variety show they were watching.

 

"Oh, Siwon~. I'm sorry but your time is up." Taeyeon, one of the main madams that Ryeowook personally hated announced as she perched herself on the door. 

 

She didn’t like Ryeowook at all when she said that he wasn’t _that_ pretty and poured vinegar on him before sending the girls to wash him in the parlor because she said he smelled like ‘outside’.

 

Ryeowook watched the cute giggle on Siwon's face slough off as he stared at her before he gave Ryeowook a quick wink.

 

"Please forgive me, Ryeowookie. I'm just going to handle this. Keep that thought!"

 

Siwon picked himself up from his comfortable spot on the bed to go walk to Taeyeon and backhand her suddenly.

 

Ryeowook gasped at the scene but was admittedly internally please as Siwon grabbed her by the hair and drug her to the main hallway before yelling so loud that even Ryeowook could hear it through the closed door.

 

"NO ONE IS TO FUCKING TOUCH KIM RYEOWOOK! HE IS MINE! HE BELONGS TO ME--TAKE HIM OUT OF THIS SHITTY FUCKING ROOM AND PUT IN THE BEST ONE--TAKE HIM OUT OF THE FUCKING ROSTER! MAKE SURE HE EATS BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE AND HE GETS WHATEVER HE WANTS, WHENEVER HE WANTS--HE IS NOT A WHORE THE REST OF YOU STUPID SLITS-IN-A-DRESS AND IF YOU OR ANYONE OF YOU THINK YOU GUTTERBUTTS CAN ADDRESS ME ABOUT SPENDING TIME, I’M GOING TO THROW YOU INTO THE STREETS AND RUN YOU THE FUCK OVER! YOU FUCKING GOT IT?! YOU TREAT HIM LIKE HOW YOU TREAT ME OR I’LL SLIT YOUR FUCKING THROAT, YOU GOT THAT?!"

 

A rush of meek confirmations were heard before booming footsteps led back to Ryeowook’s door.

 

Siwon's grimace instantly changed when he saw Ryeowook standing in front of the door caught listening in.

 

"I'm sorry that I was loud or if I scared you," Siwon began meekly. "I just...I made sure you'll be treated nicely. Your room will be a bigger, nicer one and I'll pay for it so you won't have to worry and,"

 

Siwon was cut off by a hug suddenly, Ryeowook arms around his neck.

 

"Thank you, thank you so much, Choi-ssi."

 

Siwon awkwardly hugged back, not used to genuine affection.

 

Ryeowook pulled back and Siwon's hands fell to Ryeowook's waist, his robe was slipping off his shoulder tepidly, reminding both men that he was completely naked underneath. Siwon took one of his hands and gently brought the silk robe back in place before properly tying the material on Ryeowook's now trembling body, but he wasn't trembling in fear. 

 

"Kim Ryeowook....I like you. And I want you--but not tonight. Not like this.” Ryeowook felt the warmth of Siwon’s finger tips and shivered at the affection. “I can't get you out of here because you were sold to SUJU and I don't have much power yet at 23...but if you ever gave me a chance...I'll make sure you'll never regret it."

 

Ryeowook never regretted giving Siwon a chance even though he was sure he loved Siwon at first sight. 

 

The power and protection of belonging to the upcoming powerful member of the gang world was extremely favorable--Ryeowook never sold his body like Siwon promised and was moved to the grandest of rooms and was treated like a queen at every turn--the protection made Ryeowook quickly becoming the rudest human being alive despite becoming a puppy when Siwon came around. 

 

Ryeowook knew that Siwon was fucking or fucked most of the girls, but he didn't care--Siwon would come to his room already clean, ready to play video games, sleep or cuddle and he never pressured Ryeowook for moment for sex even though the girls would always pout whenever Siwon would fuck them and repeat Ryeowook's name over and over.

 

Once SUJU began to expand, Siwon was suddenly second in command. The first thing he did was dissolve Ryeowook's contract, cover Ryeowook’s ankle in cute tattoos to cover the brand from the traffickers and Ryeowook was free. 

 

The night Siwon walked Ryeowook out of the brothel 2 years later and presented Ryeowook with the paperwork making him no longer in debt was the best of Siwon’s life.

 

Ryeowook kissed him. Ryeowook promised never to leave him and gave him a chance--but just _one_ chance.

 

Ryeowook moved to the main compound and with his degree in finance, SUJU's income tripled as he ran their books. 

 

Siwon was happy for the first time. 

 

Just off of _one_ chance.

₷

"I meant that then and mean it now." Siwon said in his panicked lovers ear as he hugged his lover. "I will make sure that you have a private room and will only be seen by 1 doctor and 1 nurse and round the clock security. Nothing's more important in this world than you and our Ji-Jis."

 

Siwon rubs his belly before a gentle knock and Leeteuk entered the room with a wheel chair. "Leeteuk will take you there. Teuk, make sure you contact Fong Jihue when you get there--she's the private doctor."

 

Once Ryeowook is carefully wheeled out, Siwon waits until he can see the sedan and three black SUVs drive north before sighing and drawing the blinds closed.

 

Siwon pulled out his gun tucked in the back of his waistband and struts back into the hallway before shooting three rounds in the ceiling, watching blankly as he the nurses scream.

 

"Everyone but the doctor needs to leave, right now."

 

The women rush out as Siwon heads back to the laboratory. 

 

Dr. Hwang was trembling before Siwon strolled over and smacked him in the face with the pistol and yanked his fat body onto an examination desk before snatching a pair of handcuffs from his back pocket and cuffs the doctor to the gurney, ignoring the begging the doctor in favor for pulling the gurney into an upright position. 

 

"No! Please, I won't tell anyone!" The doctor pleaded and Siwon began loading a clip into his semi-automatic pistol methodically.

 

"Tell me where would someone gets Serpentine Ink?" Siwon demanded as he sat, perched on his desk adjacent from the gurney.

 

"It's found from a plant in Nigeria," the doctor babbled quickly. 

 

Siwon clenched his jaw.

 

Siwon probably knows only two Africans? Sam Okyere, the celebrity and Wale-- the chief supplier for most of the drugs in the Seoul area. 

 

Wale and Siwon aren't too fond of each other, but both rely on each other heavily for work. SUJU is far from the only client Wale supplies for--Wale always ensures that SUJU get the best and best quality. It’s a cornerstone of SUJU to have the best quality and Wale always delivered. 

 

Wale would not taint the hand that feed him.

 

"What else," Siwon said nonchalant and the doctor stuttered as if stalling.

 

"I-I…I..I don’t--,"

 

Boom.

 

Siwon shot the doctor in the shin so suddenly, Siwon didn't even blink as the man's blood splayed across the pristine examination table as the doctor screamed in horror and pain.

 

"Start talking or I'll shoot you again~," Siwon sung off-key and the doctor moaned, trying to gain his senses and not the fact that his shin was basically shredded. 

 

"The yakuza uses it," he gasped as he writhed around in sweltering pain. 

 

Siwon raised an eyebrow.

 

"Ya/ku/za?" Siwon said it as if it was a foreign concept. 

 

Of course, the yakuza hated it when the Koreans stepped into the drug game, EXO, SVT, BTS & SUJU all but eliminated the need for the yakuza to run Korean streets--but poisoning a carrier was too low of a blow for the Japanese who believed life was scared and that carriers should be venerated.

 

"…And… Triads…"

Triads? SUJU had no beef with the triads unlike EXO who's Chinese members who jumped ship after being disrespected--not by EXO members but other Chinese nationals. Only Lay the Sheep--who was usually absent, high or sleeping--remained. 

 

If anyone was to get fucked by triads, it would be EXO not SUJU. 

 

"You know more than you let on.” Siwon growled as he bawled up his fist, feeling no empathy for the human withering in front of him. “Who do you work for?"

 

Siwon—being an asshole--asked it as a question but didn't give the man time to answer before grabbing a bottle of alcohol sitting in the cupboard and pouring it slowly over the bullet wound.

 

The screams made Siwon’s mind sing with joy! His nipples even got hard!

 

"I don't--I swear!"

 

After Siwon upturned at least two more bottles of alcohol on Dr. Hwang before he dug in his pocket for a zippo lighter and waved it threateningly in front of the doctor.

 

"You have three seconds, 1...3!"

 

"BLACKPINK!"

 

Siwon ticked his head to the side, eyeing the doctor as if he misheard.

 

"Blackpink? Aren't they like fucking 12?” Siwon chuckled, thinking back on how Yesung came in with a report about a group of four girls who were pretty decent assassins masking as prostitutes to kill their targets. Siwon only remembered that the girls were about 17-21. “Those little bitches aren't smart enough--, OH KWON JIYONG, that's who you mean!" Siwon cackled. 

 

There was a rumor that Blackpink was created by SUJU’s direct nemesis—YG. Their leader GD definitely had enough beef with SUJU to try to kill a member or his fiancé.

 

"The girls w-w-w-were sent here and asked about Serpentine’s Ink." 

 

Siwon leaned back against the desk and scoffed. "Why were they here?"

 

"I service all types of criminals...but one of the girls needed a termination."

 

"And then casually asked about Serpentine Ink? You think I'm that stupid?!"

⌂

An hour later, Siwon stepped from the elevator to see Heechul the Shadow waiting for him in a suit and an SUV awaiting him. When Siwon got in the passenger seat he saw one of his Sean John suits waiting for him.

 

"How's Wookie?" Siwon quickly begins to change out of his bloody street clothes—he was in such a rush to get Wookie to the clinic that he didn’t even bother with a suit and only had on a hoodie, sweats and house slippers.

 

"He's alive, but Dr. Fong is not releasing any more information until you arrive."

 

"Let's go."

⌂⌂⌂

Ꝝ

Yuta leaned against the balcony on a calm Tuesday afternoon toying with a small, empty vial…rolling it between his forefinger and thumb as the mid-June sun pelted down on his skin.

 

The vial he toyed with wouldn't even be able to contain more than five drops of liquid—maybe six? 

 

But that was fine. 

 

They should be dead by now. 

 

Yuta took the empty vial and tossed it over the balcony carelessly and sighed softly as he heard the small glass shatter. 

 

Yuta _did _feel terrible that two innocent fetuses were probably dead, but his revenge was his own to have. It really wasn’t any of his business, but he was sure Ryeowook the Red and whatever bastards he was laboring for Siwon was dead.__

__

__If anything, Yuta did those kids a favor—Siwon for a father?_ _

__

__Siwon would never know._ _

__

__Ryeowook's death should be enough to have SUJU into silence and NCT could enjoy a rise to power. Months ago, all Yuta wanted was to have Ryeowook and Siwon dead; now all Yuta wanted was NCT safe._ _

__

__Taeyong safe._ _

__

__He killed four birds with one stone._ _

__

__Yuta shrugged before pulling his gas mask back on before exiting the balcony and back into the apartment._ _

__

__The room that was supposed to his bedroom was turned into a meth laboratory that Yuta took pride in since it was a way he was really contributing—and boy—what a tribute._ _

__

__He baked three batches today because EXO was scheduled for a visit. A month had passed since Yuta began cooking and it was being sold fast and the money was piling up faster--so fast that Doyoung insisted that Yuta devote most his time to it and now EXO wanted to see for themselves._ _

__

__Yuta lit more incense and opened the large industrial fans to air out the toxic air and went back to his lab table with a huge grin on his face. His batches looked perfect. He had a clear red set of 1/2 a kilo that he named Cherry Bomb, a foggy purple one that he mixed with lavender cleaner called Fabuloso and the last one was a grey set he called Chogiwa named after the one time a very drunk Chanyeol called Doyoung’s phone, screaming “Cho-gi-wa~!” for five minutes straight._ _

__

__Yuta got a text on his watch as he finished bagging the wares that EXO had arrived—two hours early._ _

__

__Yuta cursed and took off his gas mask--it had been 5 hours and the room was clear and didn't have that disgusting smell of drain cleaner--but he didn't have on his suit yet! Presentation was key, but Yuta didn't think that bagging the meth would take so long. Yuta peeled off his gloves and looked to the closest mirror on his beaker and tried to tame his hair and ripped off his rubber apron._ _

__

__There was a knock on his door and Doyoung peaked his orange head in with a muted smile._ _

__

__"Hey, is it ready? Are you ready?"_ _

__

__Yuta nodded politely. "Yeah, I’m sorry I don’t have my suit on."_ _

__

__Doyoung gave Yuta a bright smile. “You’ve got this Yuta. They’re coming upstairs right now. Fighting!”_ _

__

__Yuta had never seen EXO besides the few times Chanyeol visited but during that time, Yuta was too afraid to even be in the same room. EXO had so much control over NCT and Yuta was afraid that his own presence would impede and cause EXO to hate him._ _

__

__Three men walked in, one was tall, lanky with ears framing an innocent face, another was shorter and Yuta knew that that was Gongmyung the Ghost for sure—he looked like Doyoung if he was older slightly and the last one was had a divine, almost puppy-like face and perfect cheekbones._ _

__

__Yuta bowed at a 90 degree angle to each of them before Doyoung, Ten, Taeyong and Johnny entered also. The men lined up on the opposite of the table from Yuta who was quickly trying to arrange the table politely._ _

__

__"Greetings." Yuta bowed nervously as he tried not to fidget. Yuta felt like he was going to throw up. Yuta was never good in situations like this. He hated introducing himself to other people—especially men. It reminded him too much of when he was trafficked. “I am Na Yuta.”_ _

__

__Doyoung led the introductions as Yuta tried not to faint from either his nervousness or being too close to the fumes._ _

__

__"Wow, what a banquet." Chanyeol the Chaser said with a wide smile gesturing the to the wonderous amounts of drugs that was politely presented on the table. Yuta didn’t know much, but he knew that he really, really liked Chanyeol. He was very funny and pretty laid back for a gangster and seemed to be very affectionate towards NCT—even though he was known as being the best chaser in Seoul. You could run, but Chanyeol never gives up. If someone was missing—if anything was missing—Chanyeol would chase it and catch it effortlessly. “It looks incredible! It’s fucking colorful—like rock candy!”_ _

__

__"It looks so impressive.” Chen—affectionately called ‘the Cheater’ said inspecting a baggy of the purple-tinted crystal meth. Did Chen ever play fair? No. But playing fair doesn’t mean you win. Chen was such a good tazza that he single-handedly gambled in one night and won enough money to buy the top four floors above an convenience store—those four floors were rented to NCT and are now the compound in which they stood now. “Did you make this all yourself Yuta-ssi?"_ _

__

__Yuta wasn't expecting the formalities. His eyes darted to Taeyong who gave him a small nod._ _

__

__"I did, sir." Yuta began feeling a bit more confident before standing straighter._ _

__

__"Where did you learn?" Gongmyung asked as he opened a bag and took a whiff. Gongmyung nodded obviously impressed. Gongmyung was called the ghost, because he knew how to tread extremely lightly and could cross distances so quick that you’d never expect it. “This doesn’t seem like amateur work.”_ _

__

__"I was a chemistry major at Nagoya University of Arts and Sciences…but I..I couldn’t finish because…I was taken.” Yuta said in a small voice as if it was a mortal sin, but cleared his throat and tried to force a smile. “It's not difficult to cook meth, but it's extremely dangerous."_ _

__

__"So what's all here, Yuta-ssi?" Chen asked inspecting another bag._ _

__

__"I have three sets of crystal, two sets of powdered and I have promethazine also."_ _

__

__Chanyeol piped up, excited. “Wait—you made lean, too? Doyoungie didn’t tell us that!”_ _

__

__Yuta tried to not smile, but it was so hard with Chanyeol’s exaggerated expression. “I-I-I have cups and soda—just give me a second!” Yuta was quickly rushing to the fridge behind him and pulled out a liter of Sprite, Styrofoam cups and ice. “I…I really haven’t drunken the whole thing because I don’t like it—but I think it’s good, Chanyeol-ssi.”_ _

__

__“You can just call us hyung, Yuta! Do you need help?” Chen asked, and Yuta tried not to laugh at the giddiness he felt as Chen and Ten helped Yuta fill the cups with ice and soda passing it to everyone. When Yuta handed the cup to Taeyong, he didn’t miss the small smile and wink Taeyong gave and Yuta felt like he could fly—even before taking a sip._ _

__

__“So, I have eight types. I characterized them by potency and taste since I used different types and brands of pseudoephedrine.” Yuta explained as he took mini tongs and dropped a multi-colored cube in each cup. Ten watched amazed at the cubes fizzed slightly and quickly bleed color into everyone’s cup. Ten wasn’t a fan of cough-syrup laced drinks but due to trap music and the quick effects of having a mellow high--lean was popular and pretty rare to make._ _

__

__Yuta dropped one into his cup and watched as it turned a bright gold. “Shall we try it?”_ _

__

__Everyone quickly took a sip and instantly everyone hissed in pleasure before taking a deeper gulp._ _

__

__“Holy fuck, this taste like happiness.” Chen said before stirring it again, already feeling a bit of the effects, his mouth puckering. “It’s pretty potent too.”_ _

__

__“That’s called ‘Lady Luck’ since it’s green. It’s kiwi-flavored.” Yuta said informatively before Ten pointed at his cup._ _

__

__“What’s this one? It’s orange.”_ _

__

__“It’s actually called ‘Chiang Mai’. It’s papaya and mango. I made it just for you—but don’t drink any more it’s pretty strong.”_ _

__

__“I like how you made it into little cubes,” Chanyeol said impressed. “It’s easier to transport and conceal.”_ _

__

__Yuta took another nervous sip from his cup. He felt his goosebumps on his elbow dance and then realized that maybe he should stop drinking. “Thank you, Chanyeol-hyung. I was thinking about the most cost-effective way to get it marketable. Bottles are too costly and can get messy.”_ _

__

__“You’re pretty smart, Na Yuta.” Gongmyung said flippantly and Yuta took another sip before bowing._ _

__

__“And what’s in your cup? It’s gold.” Chen asked before picking the cup from Yuta’s hands and taking a sip._ _

__

__“No way, this is better than what you gave me!”_ _

__

__Yuta chuckled, covering his laughter with his hand. “I call it ‘Beyoncé’. It’s made of out honey and it’s super sweet.”_ _

__

__“It seems like you’ve done pretty well for yourself, Yuta.” Gongmyung said, taking the gold-colored drink from Chen’s hand and taking a greedy sip. “You’ve done more in what—five months than what Doyoung could in years.”_ _

__

__Yuta’s eyes quickly darted to Doyoung who couldn’t hide his hurt quick enough._ _

__

__“Actually,” Yuta began tapping his fingers against the table nervously. “All the praise belongs to Doyoung-hyung.”_ _

__

__If Doyoung was still sipping, he would have spat his drink out. His eyes were wide and nervous, but Yuta nodded._ _

__

__“It was Doyoung who made the decision and gave me the space and materials to start cooking.”_ _

__

__“I expect nothing less from our Doyoungie.” Chen began affectionately before reaching in his breast pocket and pulling out calculator. “But let’s talk numbers!”_ _

__

__“So—EXO is taking a 58% cut right away.” Chanyeol said seriously before taking another sip, his mind already dancing. “This includes renting fees, membership fees and basic protection. From the remaining 42% we’re taking 10% as handler fees. You will stop selling as of Friday.”_ _

__

__Doyoung and Taeyong’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “Yeolie-hyung, that’s almost twice of what we gave in the first batch,” Doyoung began. “That’s only leaving us with 32% of what we’ve created.”_ _

__

__“It’s too much to take a risk on the quality.” Gongmyung challenged. “We have no idea if the meth is actually _good_. EXO is going to swallow the remainder fees if this batch tanks.”_ _

__

__“But it won’t, and you guys know that. We tested it in Itaewon and those fucking Americans are begging for me!” Doyoung countered annoyed. “We banked 25,000,000 won with a third of a kilo Yuta made and gave you 30% of that! We just got off of the penalty of commission-free drops!”_ _

__

__Yuta was not liking how this was going._ _

__

__Chen was whispering to Chanyeol about something and Chanyeol was sneering and speaking too fast for Yuta to hear the whispers._ _

__

__Yuta swallowed nervously._ _

__

__Fuck, he did not think this was going to happen. He just wanted to be useful._ _

__

__“How about this--,” Yuta began before Gongmyung snapped._ _

__

__“How about you stay the fuck out of this, newbie? Just keep baking.”_ _

__

__“Yah--!,” Doyoung snipped brusquely to his older brother—something he never did. Something that even Yuta knew Doyoung was too scared to do before. “Don’t you _ever_ talk to my teammate like that.”_ _

__

__“OK, simmer the fuck down!” Chen began annoyed. “Everyone take a sip of your illegal boba tea and shut the fuck up. I want to hear what Yuta has to say—he is obviously capable. Go on, Yuta!”_ _

__

__Yuta’s eyes were wide as he saw Taeyong quickly utter in Doyoung’s ear to calm down, but Doyoung kept glaring at Gongmyung who instead gave Doyoung a conniving little sneer._ _

__

__Yuta swallowed before finally speaking. “I created three batches on purpose—one for NCT, one for EXO and one to sell to other groups. Instead of how it is now where everyone has one importer—we just created a new one in myself? We must be competitive, right? I made the grey one just for EXO. It’s perfect and pure and you can sell for $200 USD a gram and I’ve made half a kilo of that. The one I made for NCT is the red one—not nearly as potent, but that’s at least $150 a gram—also a half kilo. I created his foggy purple one to be sold by EXO to other gangs—it’s worth maybe $80 a gram, but we’ll tell them it’s $175. I have two kilo’s worth. Instead of not having NCT sell it—EXO can sell the high quality in Seoul, we’ll sell the secondary in Itaewan and the others would have the worse—but they would have to sell it at $175 a gram and give you, EXO—32% off of the top. NCT, we will give you 30% in exchange for 15% of your profits of Chogiwa—simply a production fee, and for us to have 20% of whatever the other gangs sell. That way you have a steady income to EXO no matter what happens. Instead of risk going from 78% if this fails to 13%. This means not only do you have 85% of the sales to yourself when you push Chogiwa—you have 30% of NCT and 30% from each group that sells Fabuloso. Imagine if you just sell it to BTS and SVT? You can hit million dollars in sales within four months.”_ _

__

__Chen raised an eyebrow and placed a playful hand on his chest. “That’s our yearly quota.” Chen motioned to Chanyeol to move in closer. “Chan, Gong—we need to talk.”_ _

__

__As the three walked to the far side of the room to the balcony, Yuta quickly shuffled to Ten, Taeyong, Johnny and the most nervous version of Doyoung Yuta has ever witnessed. “Yuta? Don’t you think that’s too much?”_ _

__

__Yuta looked for each of his members before nodding his head. “Trust me. It’s a perfect deal. EXO still gets the lion’s share, but at least we can sell about get more than just 30%--at least eighty percent of what the cost.”_ _

__

__Chen, Chanyeol and Gongmyung cleared their throats and the Yuta turned around, frightful before bowing politely._ _

__

__“Fine, Na Yuta. We will go with your method—but, we will withhold the 20% from each other gang selling Fabuloso and the 15% from Chogiwa for two weeks as a probationary measure. What about the lean?” Chen announced and Taeyong spoke up._ _

__

__“We agree. We will also push the lean at college campus.”_ _

__

__Yuta watched with a sense of pride as Chanyeol and Taeyong shook hands in agreement._ _

__

__Yuta let out a sigh of relief before making his way over to the table and began to place the drugs four separate duffle bags before passing it Gongmyung who gives Yuta a lecherous smile._ _

__

__"You should join us," Gongmyung smirked, looking over Yuta in a way that made the Japanese man panic slightly._ _

__

__"I will never leave NCT.” Yuta said boldly before handing the last duffle bag a bit more roughly to Gongmyung. “This is my team.”_ _

__

__"Were all a family, we have--," Gongmyung began but Yuta cut him off roughly._ _

__

__"But you don't have _them_. Your cousins, but NCT are my brothers and I'm not leaving Taeyong before my body turns cold."_ _

__

__All conversations stopped when the words tumbled from brave lips boldly and the look on Yuta’s face wasn’t one of fear or indifference, it was pride. Yuta was proud of him family within NCT and the look that Taeyong gave Yuta was unbearably sweet._ _

__

__Chanyeol smiles into his second cup of lean. "I know how that feels. Ah, I can't wait to go back home to my Bacon~. See you guys in a week."_ _

__

____

ꞗ

In two months, EXO's profits soar and NCT is bringing in more cash just from secondary sales and only doing one drop every month than they did with the last six months.

 

Cherry Bomb’s initial run was over within four days. Johnny, Ten and Taeil were selling out of their share almost every hour.

 

Mark and Haechan were surfing the college party circuit and the lean was selling out before the party was over. 

Everyone came back home daily with bags over flowing with pretty colored bills that they would dump on the floor of the living room while Doyoung and Yuta took the gruelingly pleasurable task of counting, weighting and rubber banding the cash.

ﬕ

“Yuta-hyung?” Mark’s warm hand was on Yuta’s shoulder, who apparently fell asleep on the living room floor surrounded by 100,000 won bills.

 

“Hmmph, Markie…what?!” Yuta growled rolling over, a $100 euro stuck to his cheek. It was Yuta’s night to count the money but he was too tired and actually never wanted to see money again. “Let hyung sleep!” Yuta whined but he then felt a pressure cover his entire body. Yuta froze and sighed, annoyed. 

 

“Mark Lee, get the hell off of me.” Yuta growled and he felt Mark wrap his hands around Yuta’s torso and whine into his shoulder blades. 

 

“Yuta-hyung, please I need advice! I’ll help you, count the cash—please!”

 

“Mark!”

 

“Yuta, I swear I will clamp down on your back like a damn spider monkey if you don’t help me! Please, Yuta!” Mark held on to Yuta’s back tighter and Yuta was shocked by Mark’s strength. “Please, Yuta! I help you clean up the lab!”

 

Yuta managed to roll over, with his chest to the ceiling, but Mark still clung to his back and Yuta felt like an overturned turtle.

 

“Oh my God.” Yuta sucked his teeth before rolling back over, and Mark was still begging for help as Yuta crawled to the sofa and struggled to stand up, but he did and Mark was still piggybacked and clinging for dear life. 

 

“Mark Lee, get off of me you, fucking monkey!”

 

“Hyung! Why won’t you give me some advice! I will let go if you say yes!”

 

Yuta tried to pry Mark’s hands from around his shoulders but was struggling and almost lost balance. “FUCK! WHY ARE YOU SO STRONG?! MARK--,”

 

“HYUNG, COME ON! I JUST NEED SOME ADVICE--!”

 

Suddenly the door opened and the two turned to the entrance to see Johnny and Taeyong emerge with their duffle bags and McDonald bags. Yuta whimpered in relief as Taeyong shook his head and walked over to them. 

 

“Taeyongie! I’m so happy you’re here! Can you help get Mark off…of…YAH, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?” Yuta ended with a scream as Taeyong simply pulled a McChicken from the bag and unwrapped it before putting it in Mark’s awaiting mouth and walking away nonchalantly. Yuta’s eyes bulged from his sockets. “Hyung!”

 

“I’m sorry, but when Mark starts King Konging, you just kinda give him what he wants.” Taeyong said with a helpless shrug. “Let’s like a fucking monkey. Just agree with whatever he wants, sweetie.”

 

Mark was gripping Yuta with one arm as the other waved his now half-eaten McChicken in the air. “I love you, Taeyongie-oppa~!”

 

Taeyong shot Mark an overly cheesy finger heart before he loosened his tie. “Yuta darling, I’m going to sleep first~.” Yuta watched in full betrayal as Taeyong happily paraded up the stairs. 

 

Yuta lumbered around to see Johnny eating fries happily. 

 

“Johnny. Please. I’ll rotate all the tires on the cars if you just please--,”

 

“I’m sorry.” Johnny said with a snort. “We all literally had to go through this. Mark doesn’t ask for much, I’m sure it’s not too bad. What do you need advice about, Mark?”

 

Mark frowned. “…about Haechan.”

 

Johnny looked at his Apple watch with exaggeration. “Wow! Look at the time! I’ve got to go feed my kitten! Night!”

 

Yuta flailed wildly, “You don’t have a kitten!”

 

Johnny gave Yuta a lewd smile over his shoulder. “Of course, I do. You just know him as Ten. Night!”

 

Suddenly, Yuta was alone downstairs, stepping on thousands of won and a way-too-stong-for-22 year-old on his back like an octopus. 

 

Suddenly, the tell-tale smell of McDonalds was thrusted in his face. “Wanna bite, Yuta-hyung?” Mark asked almost innocently, and Yuta rolled his eyes before taking a bite. 

 

Ten minutes later, Mark was sitting across from Yuta on the floor of the living room, their backs against the couches as they began to count and band the cash and place it into their respective duffle bags. 

 

“Hyung, I don’t know what I’ve done but all Haechan wants to do is hang out with Jeno.” Mark whined as he clicked sadly on the oversized calculator before inserting in to the money counter. Yuta pressed his lips into a thin line.

 

“Who’s Jeno?”

 

“…Haechan’s biology partner. He’s always texting Haechan and Haechan…like….goes out to meet him at the café sometimes. I told him that I don’t trust Jeno.”

 

Yuta tucked a few fries into his mouth as he eyed the almost nervous way Mark was talking. No wonder Johnny didn’t want to talk to Mark about this. “When did this start? Like, why would Haechan show interest in another person when you guys are in a relationship?”

 

Mark grew quiet and pulled at the neck of his hoodie, anxious. “Well…a few nights ago…we were talking about the future.” Mark’s voice was a bit brittle as he placed a wad of cash down and pressed his palms against his closed lids. “Since we’re making so much money…we talked about the future. The things that we want. He expressed that…that he really wanted to visit Canada because that way, we could be more…open.”

 

“And what did you say?”

 

“I…I said that I was…unsure.”

 

“What?” Yuta raised an eyebrow. “You love him. You adore Haechan like he’s a fucking blessing to your life.”

 

“He is!” Mark defended quickly before gnawing on his lip. “I’m madly in love with him. But…but I can’t just plan out my life. Yuta-hyung, I’m a drug dealer.” Mark said solemnly, and Yuta could see Mark struggling to gather his thoughts. “I’ve done things no good Christian should do and for fuck’s sake, I leave this house everyday knowing that I may never come back. How can I really lay down with Donghyuck and plan a future with him when there is _no_ future? I hate getting my hopes up. That’s why I…that’s why I like being overly affectionate to him. Some days I won’t even let him leave the bed. I have no idea when I will ever get to hold him again. I don’t know when I’ll ever see his blush or kiss him or make love to him. I just…I just…”

 

Yuta nodded, understanding the younger man completely. “I understand, Mark. Do you think this is why he’s getting close to Jeno?”

 

Mark shudders, trying to control his emotions before nodding. “Yes. Jeno is…rich, popular—incredibly handsome…even funny. Like in Haechan’s type of humor; I feel like I can’t compare.”

 

“Don’t be stupid.” Yuta said affectionately. “Donghyuck loves you. You’ve been inseparable.”

 

“I don’t know. What if his heart has changed? I love him. He’s my whole world…I’m…”

 

“If you could live to be 100 years old with Haechan, what would you want to accomplish?”

 

Mark giggled, as if the thought was completely unfeasible. “I’d actually…I’d want to leave NCT…go to Canada with Haechannie…open up a brunch-style restaurant…see the world…marry him. Have children? At least three and enjoy quiet peaceful afternoons in the den…do you know Haechan can sing? Like really well? Like a bird…like an angel. I always imagine that I’d be old, wrinkled fingers, sagging skin, a bad knee but I’d still be playing my guitar for my sun-kissed Donghyuckie and I pray that he’d sing for me. I every night pray that the last thing I ever hear right before my soul leave my corporal being will be his voice, Yuta.”

 

The air felt heavy with emotions as Mark let a few tears slip out. Yuta however was struggling desperately to keep him emotions in. Yuta only had been in the compound for five months but of all the relationships he witnessed, none of them was as strong or admirable like the love between the two youngest members. Taeyong would always hassle them for focusing too much on each other and not their studies or their chores, but Taeyong also gave Mark words for encouragement for the affection.

 

“Mark, listen to hyung.” Yuta said firmly after clearing his throat. “You need to tell that to Donghyuck. He wants to hear that. He needs to hear that you want a future with him.”

 

“But what if we never have a chance to?”

 

“ ‘But what if’ isn’t ever a valid excuse. He’s being like this because maybe Jeno is interested. Maybe Jeno is giving him hope for a future. Are you going to let that happen?”

 

Mark shook his head and sighed. “No…no, I won’t let Jeno have a chance with him. I’m just scared. No one told me love was this… _this_.” Mark made a frustrated sigh and Yuta chuckled at Mark’s childishness. 

 

“Yuta-hyung?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Thank you for listening. You’re so kind, respectable and reliable. No wonder Taeyong-hyung loves you so much.”

 

Yuta’s face turned red and he blushed. “I…I um, I don’t think…I think you’ve misunderstood. Taeyong and I aren’t--,”

 

“What?” Mark nearly screeched. “But you guys…sleep in the same room. In the same bed, right?”

 

“Yes, but--,”

 

“I’m supposed to believe that anyone sleeps next to you and is just kissing you?”

“We haven’t kissed--,”

 

“What?! What?! It’s been…five months? He looks at you like you’re the only person that ever existed. You’re not together?”

 

“No…no we’re not…it’s…I think he’d just being mindful of my past.”

 

“Oh. I see. You do love him, though?”

 

Yuta looks around cautiously before giving a small nod. “Just…don’t say anything. I’m…I’m just being patient.”

 

“I’m sure he loves you, too. Hyung, you are so pretty.”

 

Yuta blushes before continuing to count the cash with butterflies in his tummy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ☤
> 
> Guys, I didn't know if I ever told you but I was raised in the hoods of Miami and yes, I know a little too much about drugs and how it's made and marketed. /blasts MIGOS/.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Any favorite parts? Anyone mad at Yuta? I ain't mad at Yuta.
> 
> ☤


	4. Radial Collateral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ✾
> 
> Hi hoes! I know it’s been a while, and I would like to explain with his wise phrase:
> 
> Whew chile’, the depression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  
> 
> ☤
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> rad·ial co·llat·eral li·ga·me·ta·rum
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> : a ligament of the wrist on the thumb side that connects the distal end of the radius of the arm with the trapezium and scaphoid bones and helps to **stabilize** the wrist join
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 
> 
> &

✾

Due to the money almost making itself everyone had time to well, for lack of proper words, _do_ stuff.

 

One evening, while Yuta’s trying to scrub a copper basin free from the stench of baking soda and toxins--Taeyong leaned over on the threshold of the bathroom door, looking at Yuta lovingly as the latter scrubbed aggressively.

 

“If you’re just going to watch me, the least you can do is help.” Yuta snipped a bit uncharacteristically and Taeyong frowned not expecting the response with so much bite. Yuta sighed deeply, and looked up to Taeyong with a regretful look before looking at his bright yellow gloves in disgust.

 

“I’m sorry, hyung. I didn’t mean to be mean.”

 

“Do you want me to help?” Taeyong asked immediately stepping in the bathroom and Yuta shook his head and pulled his face mask down.

 

“No…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you, Yongie. I swear—it’s just I…I mixed two much of the ammonia when I was making the gas bomb that Doyoung requested and almost made mustard gas. I could’ve killed us all because I wasn’t careful.”

 

Taeyong kneeled next to the bathtub that Yuta was crouching in, wearing a worn shirt and jean shorts as he scrubbed a bit harder at the basin, tears tickling his orbs. “I could’ve hurt us all because I was not being careful. I’m just upset a bit with myself.”

 

“Yuta, maybe you should take a break from cooking.” Taeyong offered calmly and Yuta snorted, shaking his head.

 

“I can’t, hyung. We’re making _so_ much money.” Yuta countered turning the water on using the detachable shower head to rinse out the grime. “I want to keep the quota going. This is how I can repay you all for saving me.”

 

“I know, but Suho and Chanyeol would understand if you take a few days off.” Taeyong reached over and brushed Yuta’s fringe from his eyes. Yuta could’ve melted at the soft smile Taeyong gave him. “Plus, you have plans tonight.”

 

“Plans?” Yuta asked quizzically. Tonight was just Tuesday. “I don’t think I do.”

 

Taeyong pulled out his cell phone and showed Yuta the screen. Yuta gasped.

 

“Taeyong--,”

 

“It’s a famous French play. I got tickets from Groupon.”

 

Yuta raises an eyebrow peeling off his rubber gloves. “What is a Groupon?”

 

“It doesn’t matter! We have front row seats. So, you need to dress in the prettiest thing you can find.”

 

Yuta frowned.

 

Yuta’s monetary cut from the creation of the drugs was minimal since he wasn’t an active member, but the few grand he received Yuta saved it or donated it to the church anonymously every Sunday. “I don’t have any clothes that isn’t borrowed.”

 

Taeyong smiled before slowly standing up and pocketing his phone. “I _may_ have brought you a little something.”

 

Yuta’s eyes widened and shimmered brightly with joy. “Really?”

 

“Yeah, I do work part-time at a boutique.” Taeyong shrugged as Yuta popped up, the basin forgotten.

 

“Where?! Where is it?”

 

“ _Maybe_ in our room?” 

 

Yuta hurriedly dove out of the tub and past Taeyong to fly up the stairs. Taeyong turned the faucet off and trailed slowly after Yuta and once he got in the room Yuta was slowly admiring the multiple bags of designer clothes that Taeyong picked.

 

Yuta had tears in his eyes.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

Yuta slowly picked up a fancy pair of dress shoes before putting it down in total disbelief. “I love it…I’ve…I’ve never had anything this nice before.”

 

The brightness in Yuta’s face when he turned to face Taeyong nearly made Taeyong’s heart skip a beat. Taeyong didn’t get to blink before Yuta dove into his chest and Taeyong held him tight instantly.

 

Later that night, Yuta was dressed sharply next to Taeyong as they watched the play. Taeyong didn’t understand much, but Yuta, who had been diligently studying French leaned into Taeyong’s ear to translate quietly. Taeyong quickly lost interest in the play, but instead on Yuta’s soft lips grazing against his ear. After a while, Yuta abandoned translating, instead captivated by the look Taeyong was giving him instead. 

 

Taeyong didn’t hesitate to intertwine their hands, playing with Yuta’s fingers as the latter blushed and cozied even closer to him.

✼

That night, Yuta and Taeyong weren’t the only couple at the compound on a date.

 

Mark surprised Haechan right after his economics class with an impromptu date of mini-golfing-- where Mark took every moment to pout and demand kisses before insisting Haechan teach him proper swing techniques, even though Haechan was sure Mark had it down pat—Haechan couldn't deny that clingy!Mark was his favorite Mark.

 

After mini-golfing, they jumped at the chance to go golf-cart racing and to the batting cages where Mark flexed proudly for his boyfriend who only had eyes for only him. There was even a group of girls who watched as Mark perfected every swing. Unfortunately, they were extremely disappointed when Mark pulled Haechan for a quick kiss on the forehead as they moseyed from the batting cages.

 

On the way home, Mark stopped by Baskin and Robbin.

 

“Aish, Mark—we already ate so much.” Haechan whined as Mark parked at the front of the ice cream shop. Mark smirked before pushing the engine off with a quick press of the button.

 

“I want to treat you, love.” Mark pouted, patting Haechan’s thigh through his patchy Levis. “You love ice cream, don’t you?”

 

A few moment later, Haechan watched the silly smile on Mark’s face as they ate.

 

“Why are you being weird?” Haechan asked as he noticed that Mark barely touched his vanilla bean cup while Donghyuck was halfway through his cotton candy sherbet.

 

“I’m not.” Mark smiled brightly, gazing in adoration at his boyfriend. “I just…I just love watching you eat something sweet. It makes me happy.”

 

Haechan slowly moves the spoon from his mouth.

 

“My mother…used to say the same thing.” Haechan said a bit painfully remembering how much he loved his mother and vividly remembered her voice. “It was her thing…That she just like knowing I was eating well.”

 

“Its’s because you’re loved.” Mark said calmly, picking up his spoon and timidly scooping some of the ice cream but not enjoying it. “It’s because I love you.”

 

“I know you love me. It’s the only thing I know for sure.” Donghyuck said firmly. “And I love you. And Jeno isn’t interested in me and I’d never be interested in him.”

 

The words rolled from Haechan’s mouth too smoothly and Mark panicked a little. “Why? Isn’t Jeno perfect?”

 

Haechan snorted. “I’d never be interested in anyone because I love you. And because you love me.”

 

Mark takes a deep breath. For the past few weeks, he’s been contemplating his next sentence, and how much weight it carried. “Let’s go to Canada…to visit…to see if you like it.”

 

Haechan freezes, mid-motion to reach for his spoon. His eyes widened with shock and his heart raged against his chest. “Really? Are you sure?”

 

Donghyuck barely gets to talk about Canada with Mark. Mark always alluded that they would take about a possible move to Toronto when they were older and ready to settle. Haechan wasn't expecting it now at their ages of 22 and 21.

 

“Yes. I want us to go there to settle down. We should visit it first to see if it fits you.” Mark began nervously as he pitched his home country. “There is a pretty impressive size Asian community, so it won’t be too different. And…and, um…they’re laws are more relaxed than here…when it comes to carriers.” Mark whispers the last sentence even though the ice cream shop was empty and the only worker was on her phone behind the glass ten feet away.

 

Haechan blushes, toying with his sherbet. “I…um, I’m not a carrier, though.”

 

Mark chewed his bottom lip and looked away before sighing nervously. “But...I…I am.”

 

Haechan dropped his spoon.

 

“Shut the fuck up.”

 

Mark groans, hiding his face with his snapback. It was embarrassing to say the least when Mark found out the hard way that he could genetically bear a child after golden flecks appeared on his collarbone and wrist one morning. Mark was terrified, almost disappointed before being quite scared yet prideful. He was happy to find out, but also had a mini-midlife crisis during his psychobiology class, quickly asking the nearest girl for concealer and some chocolate. Mark was not delicate or gentle like most carriers he knew of—he was the exact opposite, but biology is a bitch. “I didn’t find out until a month ago.”

 

Haechan’s mouth falls open slowly in realization. “You mean when you asked me to--,”

 

Mark snipped viciously before blushing. “Shut up.”

 

“ _That’s_ what it was?” Haechan’s eyes narrowed before he bit his lip, thinking about a few weeks ago when Mark came home...acting a bit different and… _eager_. “I was wondering why you smelled _so_ fucking good that night.”

 

“Channie,” Mark warned with a hiss but it rolled right off Haechan’s nerves as Haechan began to smirk, remembering just how _needy_ Mark suddenly became on Wednesday evening about a month ago.

 

“You smelled like fucking…mhmm, it was like clean sweat and cinnamon sugar. It was driving me crazy. I thought I was losing my mind at how delicious you smelled.”

 

“Donghyuck--,” Mark was now embarrassed trying to hide his face before Haechan pulled at Mark’s wrist—his grip tight and warm as he pulled Mark’s hands away from his face. When Mark looked back up to Haechan’s eyes, his gaze was sultry was sinful and suddenly Mark was feeling a peel of fire lick at his belly at remembering just how much he made Mark holler out that night.

 

“That’s why you were begging for me?” Haechan’s words were shimmering and Mark could feel how that voice melted in his ear when Haechan was buried inside him. “I never really cared to top but when you were whining like that, hyung I--,”

 

“Shut up!” Mark whined and Haechan licked his lips, watching Mark’s gaze waver a bit unfocused as if reminiscing.

 

Haechan smirked treacherously.

 

“So, you want me to put a baby in you? Because I can.”

 

Mark shrugged, looking down before nodding in defeat. “I do.”

 

Haechan grew quietly. 

 

Mark was serious.

 

If Mark really is a carrier, it would be Haechan’s sole responsibility to take care of Mark and keep him and their family safe. 

 

Suddenly, Mark looked soft and innocent and was worth money than all the material possessions in the world. “I love you that much, Lee Donghyuck. I need you that much.”

 

Haechan reached out and threaded his fingers with Mark’s and squeezed.

 

“Let’s go…let’s go with the money we have saved and buy a nice three-bedroom condo.” Mark said firmly, clearing his throat. “Then we’ll come back and tie up whatever loose ends.”

 

“EXO won’t let us go.” Haechan said gravely. “It’s almost impossible…remember Hansol?”

 

“EXO won’t, but Taeyong _will_.” Mark said firmly. “Taeyong will. He loves me. He treats me like a younger brother and I know if he knew my biology he’d keep me safe. He doesn't show it, but I know he would.”

 

Haechan sighed nervously. “Taeyong hates me.”

 

“He kinda really does.” Mark chuckled and Haechan snorted.

 

“But we have to go.” Mark said frankly, looking outside the glass pane to see an ad that offers cash rewards for male carriers for biological testing. “I can’t…I _can’t_ carry here. I’m scared.”

 

“Then let’s go.” Haechan said firmly, holding Mark’s hands in his own before kissing at Mark’s fingers. “I won’t anything happen to you and little Markina.”

 

Mark reeled back in disbelief. “What?”

 

“You don’t like Markina?” Haechan asked before pondering. “What about like…Markly? Or Markara?”

 

“Who the fuck are you talking about?” Mark snapped, eying Haechan oddly and the latter rolled his eyes.

 

“Our future daughter. I want to name her after her daddy.”

 

Mark shook his hands free from Haechan’s grasp and quickly shoved the melting ice cream in his mouth. “Um, no.”

 

“Come on! What about Markoa? Or Markeisha?”

 

Mark nearly chokes on his ice cream.

 

“Markeisha? Markeisha, right? Sha-sha for short!” Haechan expressed excitedly. “I’m totally going for that one.”

 

Mark nearly hurled his ice cream at Haechan’s smug face before hissing viciously. “We are _not_ naming our child Markly or Markeisha—what the hell? She’ll get a Korean name. We’ll decide the English name later.”

 

Haechan pouted deeply, crossing his arms in defiance. “What do you have against it?”

 

“Nothing coming out of my body is being named any variation of Mark!”

 

“I don’t want you naming her, you’ll name her something whack like…like _Carol_ , or something. Markoa, Markeisha, Markly or Markara. Otherwise, I’m not knocking you up.”

✾

Jaehyun sat down in the third row of the seats that lined the cafeteria, waiting for the show to start.

 

Jaehyun felt like he was going to either pass out or vomit into the head of the person in front of him. 

 

It wasn’t the first time that he was in Hyuna’s school, but once he saw the flyer posted on the pole that advertised Hyuna’s 1st grade winter recital, Jaehyun quickly brought a ticket and quietly went on a Tuesday night before anyone could see him leave the compound.

 

The recital starts in five minutes and Jaehyun was terrified.

 

In the third row, he was close…so close that he would actually be able to see Hyuna, his precious child that he watched five days a week from a distance—he’d be able to see her just a bit closer.

 

Jaehyun’s mind was so addled that he didn’t even notice someone slide in the seat next to him.

 

“Am I late?”

 

Jaehyun nearly screamed to high-fucking-heaven when Doyoung sidled next to him, dressed in a soft grey sweater.

 

Oh shit. He was sure this would not be good. If Doyoung knew he was here, he could probably know that he watches Hyuna from afar. “Doyoung--,”

 

Doyoung cut him off with a soft gaze and a gentle smile. “Surely, you wouldn’t think I’d miss this, did you?”

 

The lights dimmed before Jaehyun to garner a response and Doyoung reached out to intertwine their fingers to calm Jaehyun’s nerves.

 

The two joint classes did a small play based on _The Mole and the Mieruk_ where Hyuna played the mythical and humorous tiger which made the parents and audience laugh with glee before the separate classes did winter songs. Hyuna, however sung _too_ loudly and swayed her arms too wildly and even Doyoung had to giggle in mild embarrassment.

 

Too soon, the concert was over and Jaehyun and Doyoung stood up, clapped and cheered loudly as the kids left the stage to run into the arms of their family.

 

Doyoung watched with a broken heart as Hyuna jumped into the arms of her new parents.

✾

 

“She’s loud just like you.” Doyoung said softly as Jaehyun looked at his phone fondly of Hyuna’s performance. Jaehyun snorted.

 

“She can’t dance—just like you.” Jaehyun and Doyoung shared a snide little giggle between them as they walked towards their car. 

 

Jaehyun was preparing to back up as Doyoung secured his seatbelt when Jaehyun threw the car in park suddenly.

 

Doyoung eyes the worried look on Jaehyun’s face as he looked at the rearview mirror.

 

“Jae, what’s wrong?”

 

Jaehyun unbuckled his seatbelt. “I think that’s Hyuna crying in that corner,”

 

In seconds, Doyoung was following Jaehyun as they indeed spotted little Hyuna in the nearly empty parking lot in her sparkly dress blue dress, sobbing quietly.

 

It was pure instinct that made Jaehyun and Doyoung carefully crowd around the five-year-old.

 

“Hey, sweetie?” Jaehyun whispered delicately as he crouched down a bit away from her, almost afraid with Doyoung right behind him. “What’s wrong, Hyuna? Why are you sad?”

 

At her name, the chubby cheeked little girl looked up into Jaehyun’s equally wide eyes and she sniffled before wailing even louder and rushed Jaeyhun, quickly throwing her chubby little hands over his neck. Jaehyun nearly toppled over before carefully picking up the crying child.

 

Doyoung watched in mild awe at how Jaehyun quickly patted her back as she buried her wet little face into Jaehyun’s neck. 

 

Doyoung’s heart melted in a million different ways.

 

“A-are you OK?” Doyoung asked as he began to pet her curly tuft of black hair tentatively. Hyuna kept crying with a little a sniffle before turning to stare at Doyoung.

 

Doyoung felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest at how intense her little glare was. It was as if she _knew_ that it was he who birthed her. That she hated him, that she _knows_ that Jaehyun wanted to keep her but Doyoung was adamant about giving her up so she can have a better life, that she _knew_ that Doyoung was truly just a vicious murderer with a hyung-complex, that—

 

“Bunny!”

 

Her words were short but clear and she even chuckled before reaching her chubby little palms out toward’s Doyoung’s dumbfounded face.

 

Jaehyun stared in disbelief before smiling wildly. “Yes, Hyunnie. This is a bunny. A very nice bunny.”

 

Hyuna’s eyes went wide as she reached her hands out to Doyoung. “His hair is like carrots!”

 

On instinct Doyoung allowed Jaehyun to transfer her into his arms and Doyoung felt chills down his spine and a curl of warmth in his heart. She stared at him, as if she truly recognized him. “You’re the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland!”

 

“Am I?” Doyoung asked softly, emulating her smile. “What is that rabbit like?”

 

“He’s always in a rush! Like-like-um, like he’s always late.” She stuttered a bit before grinning. Doyoung felt a happiness he never felt before. It was like the all sunshine and happiness in the world was nestled in his heart and beaming through his skin just looking at his daughter. Doyoung was holding his daughter after five years of wishing and praying over her.

 

“I’m a very patient rabbit. I won’t be late or rush, OK?”

 

Hyuna nodded before reaching to pet Doyoung’s hair and she giggled, snorting just a bit when Doyoung commented her on her dress. 

 

Jaehyun felt like someone poured liquid sunlight over his pores watching how the loves of his life chuckle and smile amongst each other, falling into quick routine and tumbling into love as Hyuna babbles excitedly about Alice, tea and a hat maker. 

 

Suddenly, Jaehyun can't feel the ground under him. Suddenly, he's floating, watching how his life could have been, _should_ have been.

 

"Chan Hyuna!" a shout was heard followed by a pitter of footsteps and a sharp turn to his left made Jaehyun's lush mind suddenly crash rapidly towards the ground.

 

It was a middle age woman and her husband, faces filled with relief and anxiety.

 

"Eomma! Appa! I f-found the bunny from Alice!" Hyuna giggled, not noticing how Doyoung's look of joy melted into passiveness. Jaehyun stepped behind Doyoung as if his presence was there to remind Doyoung to not retaliate. 

 

"Oh, thank you so much! Our daughter slipped away from us." the woman said a bit out of breath and bowing. Doyoung gritted his teeth. 

 

"Ditto." Doyoung's tone was stoic and cold as he took a moment to try and remember how Hyuna felt in his arms. She was warm and alive, much heavier than when he last held her. 

 

"Kids are so fast now a days, I'm sorry if she was a bother to you."

 

"No bother at all. It was disheartening to see her crying and alone. You should do better and make sure she's safe, _always_." Doyoung was not even bothering to veil his anger and Jaehyun softly placed one his hands on Doyoung's back as a warning but Doyoung was getting anxious. He was going to let Hyuna go... _again_ and it wasn't something he was ready to do. 

 

Hyuna's new father nodded. "I understand. Hyuna come to father so we can leave these nice men to enjoy the rest of their night." 

 

He reached out for Hyuna who looked to Doyoung and she smiled brightly. "Thank you!"

 

Doyoung felt helpless as Hyuna reached over to her new father but the man didn’t hold her, he immediately put her on the floor and it irked Doyoung to the fullest. 

 

Didn't this asshole thought he lost his daughter and now he's letting her walk? Hyuna is damn princess, Doyoung’s little Alice, her soles should never darken from touching the ground. 

 

"Thank you, oppa!" Hyuna smiled brightly waving to Jaehyun brightly who struggled to keep his voice even. 

 

"You're welcome, Miss Hyuna."

 

“Is your children or siblings here, too?” Hyuna's mother asked and Doyoung shook his head, clearing his throat. 

 

“No…our nephews are in Ms. Dong’s class.” Doyoung lied easily.

 

“I see. Thank you and have a goodnight.” the ajusshi same before placing his hand in Hyuna's and guiding his family away and Doyoung felt like his entire soul was being snatched from his being as he watched them walk away. 

 

But then suddenly...

 

“Bunny-oppa! Here!” Hyuna suddenly shouted before slipping from her father's hand and running full-speed at Doyoung before stopping in front of him despite her parent's voice shouts for her to comeback. 

 

Doyoung stared down at the beautiful child with large, sparkling eyes and flushed full cheeks. She quickly motion of Doyoung to bend down, and Doyoung quickly kneeled in front of her.

 

What happened next would be once of Doyoung's favorite memories. 

 

Hyuna took off her little flower crowned filled with sunflowers and lilies and gently crowned it on Doyoung's head. 

 

Hyuna stepped back and smiled brightly and Doyoung couldn't help but laugh. 

 

"You look so pretty, Doyoungie" Jaehyun chuckles, slyly hiding his tear-filled eyes. Doyoung rolled his eyes and laughed harder just as Hyuna did. Suddenly, Doyoung looked up to see Hyuna's new parent's behind her, in shock and a bit of disappointment. 

 

Doyoung stood up slowly, pinching Hyuna's mochi-like cheeks before plastering a facetious smile to the parents. The father's face slowly opened in realization. The eye shape and features that seemed to be superimposed from this man to his daughter's face was too much to ignore. 

 

Doyoung couldn't help but loll his head to left and raise an eyebrow and appraised the man in front of him. It wouldn't take Doyoung half an afternoon to track his man down, tie him up in the bathroom, duct tape his wife in the garage, ransack the house to make it seem like an robbery gone wrong...he could commission a time-sensitive gas bomb from Yuta and pick up Hyuna from school and no one would ever find out.

 

His thoughts were abruptly taken back to reality when he felt Jaehyun tug at his wrist in the opposite direction. Jaehyun was bowing politely. 

 

"Thank you so much for being so sweet, Hyuna. Goodnight, sir and ma'am."

 

Doyoung allowed Jaehyun to drag him back towards their car, but not before Hyuna waved at them with her cheery smile. 

 

The drive back to the compound was silent, and left Doyoung thinking about if he truly made the correct choice those many winters ago. 

 

When they get to the compound and Doyoung is whisked to their balcony, Jaehyun quickly passed Doyoung a glass of bourbon and his favorite cigarettes. 

 

Jaehyun was silent as he drunk, watching Doyoung slowly take off the flower crown and place it on the table between them. 

 

“I…I should have _never_ given her up." Doyoung says softly after a while. "She’s so _beautiful_ , Jaehyun. How is it possible that she even cries like you do?”

 

Jaehyun scoffed, stubbing out his cigarette as he placed one of his trembling hands to his mouth. “I wanted to take her back, right then and there. How she clung to me...how she stared up at you…that’s our girl.”

 

Later that night, after showering Doyoung took the flower crown hung it right next to the signed picture of day old Hyuna.

 

He's going to get his Alice back. He was sure of it.

✾

Johnny followed Ten closely, as his lover quickly fingered through the rack as they shopped in Gangnam.

 

But instead of Ten haunting the usual street fashion rack, he was looking at brightly colored dressed for older ladies. 

 

"Babe? Are you looking at dresses?"

 

Ten looked over his shoulder. Ten's fashion sense was eccentric and bright as his personality anytime they weren't in the compound, but Ten hasn't ever worn a dress. "Not for me, for Miss Maureen. Her birthday is next month."

 

Johnny wanted to roll his eyes, but refrained from doing so as Ten continued to thumb through the rack. Ever since Johnny saved Ten from the terrible conditions he was under, Ten swore that he would continue to look after and take care of the little, mean Jamaican lady who was purest version of tsundere Johnny's ever seen.

 

“What about this, Johnny?” Ten asks holding up a yellow and orange, flowy dress and Johnny sighs watching Ten's sparkling eyes. He truly loved Ten more than life itself. 

 

“I’m pretty sure she’d like it.”

 

“Are you sure?” Ten questioned a bit nervously, moving closer. "You’ve seen her plenty of times growing up--would she like this?"

 

Johnny wanted to roll his eyes, but didn't. 

 

Ten still thought that Miss Maureen and Johnny actually had an accord. They really didn't. Miss Maureen simply owned a corner store in his neighborhood that Johnny would go to for Newports, honey buns and beef patties and Miss Maureen never smiled and always fussed anyone who was in the store for too long or complained. 

 

Yet, Ten still thinks that Miss Maureen and Johnny were the best of friends. 

 

Johnny however, loved a pouty Ten. “I don’t know what witches like--,”

 

“She’s not a witch!" Ten frowned smacking Johnny on the shoulder with almost too much force. Ten was never the violent type outside of work, but he didn't like anyone talking bad about Miss Maureen. "She feed me and saved my life! Move, I’m going to call her.”

 

Ten checks his phone and quickly taps on his screen before calling. A few moments later, Johnny can hear Ten shriek in joy. 

 

“Tennie?” a tired voice answers, already half-way pissed off. "Child, you know what time it is?"

 

“Yes, Ms. Maureen~!” Ten cheesed happily into the phone, to see the older woman with curlers in her hair and reaching over to turn on her lamp. 

 

“You should be asleep!” she scolded. "Are you home? Are you safe?"

 

Ten nodded like a child excited to see their mother. “Yes, ma'am. I'm safe and it’s eleven AM here.”

 

“Good Lord," Miss Maureen huffed before scolding. "Let me see your arms!” Ten made a muscle through his long sleeved short and the he older woman shrieked. “STILL SKINNY! That ugly boy don’t feed you none?”

 

“I’m right here, jeez.” Johnny shouted annoyed and he fitted himself into the frame. "Hello, Miss Maureen--,"

 

“Johnny! YOU UGLY LITTLE BOY! I told you need to feed him! He's precious and NEEDS to eat more than red cabbage and stew--!” Miss Maureen shouted shaking her bony fist to the camera threateningly.

 

“JESUS, HANG UP ON HER, TEN!” Johnny hissed as Miss Maureen's Jamaican accent thickened with rage and what Johnny was sure was curses.

 

“How do you like this, Ms. Maureen?" Ten said sweetly, cutting her off and he flipped the camera over to see Johnny holding up the bright dress. "I brought this for you. Johnny picked it out.”

 

“IT’S ASS UGLY BECAUSE THAT UGLY BOY IS HOLDING IT.”

 

“But I brought this for you." Ten flipped the camera towards himself and pouted the same way he knows that always makes the older lady soften up. "You will look so pretty in this—like Beyonce.”

 

Johnny folded in laughter, despite Ten glaring at him briefly. 

 

“Fine, Tennie." Miss Maureen gave in, her tone sweet and loving as she looked at the sweet boy she saved and watch grow up to a well-adjusted adult. "I will wear it only because you brought it for me. You are always so thoughtful. I will wear it and burn it afterwards because that ugly boy has ugly tastes.”

 

“Hi Miss Maureen." Johnny said as he entered the frame and the older woman rolled her eyes as Johnny continued. "You don’t look a day over 104.”

 

Ten laughed at the face she made before cursing Johnny into the next week. Johnny took the phone as Ten went to counter to purchase the dress. 

 

Johnny walked a bit further away from the counter.

 

"He's not near anymore, Maureen. How are you doing?" Johnny asked solemnly and she coughed a bit.

 

"You made me swear up to much, ugly boy." she snickered as she cleared her throat. "I've been taking my medication and Dante has been taking me to my treatments." she spoke slowly and lowly. "I'm trying to get better for him. I want to see him before I get worse."

 

"We will visit in the spring...but, Maureen you have to tell him. You can't keep him in the dark forever."

 

"I know, Johnny, I know. But what can I do? He loves me, you know? He talks to me about everything. He calls me an angel, and I can't break his spirit. If I tell him, he'd fly over and won't leave my side. Then everyone's going to wonder why this light skin boy at my funeral crying up the event. And you don't tell him. When you come, I'll have Dante and Nisha tell him."

 

"Maureen," Johnny began pleading before she shook her head. 

 

"Don't, ugly boy. Just love him. You promised me you would take care of him."

 

Johnny felt prickling behind his eyes. "Alright. I'll do it."

 

Miss Maureen ended the call as Ten came walking back with a gleeful smile and the bag.

 

"Aww, did she leave? I didn't even tell her I loved her!" Ten whined and Johnny tried to desperately swallow his emotions. Ever since Ten was rescued from the cartel that stole him, he had an attachment to Miss Maureen like a son to a grandmother. 

 

"She was pretty tired. She did say she'll call you tomorrow."

 

Ten frowned before taking his phone and shooting a quick text filled with love and emojis for her to see in the AM. 

"I've got to stop by the post office. I can't wait for her to send me a photo of her wearing it. I bet she'll wear it to church with one of those frilly hats~!" Ten giggled as he slipped his fingers between Johnny’s and looked up to him lovingly. 

 

Johnny was silent for a while as they walked through the quiet streets. Johnny was a shitty liar and was terrible at hiding secrets, even after all these years, but here he was withholding the fact that the love of his life would have his heart shattered finding out that Miss Maureen's health was declining for the worse. 

 

“She’s getting a bit older.” Johnny said tentatively as they entered the compound and into their living shared room. Ten slowed door his steps in front of his desk that had a little Jamaican flag, and a montage of Polaroids on a corkboard. It was their trip to Jamaica with Johnny, Miss Maureen, her two grandchildren Dante and Nisha. It was the best week of Ten's life and the best food he'd ever tasted! But most importantly, Ten surprised her and brought Miss Maureen a plot of land on the beach front for when she's ready to retire.

 

Ten picked up one of photos. It was Ten in knee-deep crystal blue water, carrying Miss Maureen in his arms, caught in mid-laughter. 

 

“I know, babe." Ten said softly, before looking over to Johnny who was right next to him. "I try to send a her money to help out but she doesn't accept. If anything ever happened to her I’d feel... she really saved my life.”

 

Johnny slowly pulled Ten to a warm embrace before kissing his lips sweetly, trying his best to ease the worry in Ten’s mind and the pain in his heart.

✾

"Taeil, why are you following me?" Winwin asked as he swiveled around to see Taeil trying to unsuccessfully hide behind a fern at the entrance of the train station.

 

"Uh..." Taeil began awkwardly, watching the adorable scowl on Winwin's features from behind the plant.

 

"I...uh, I'm bored and literally everyone at the compound is on a date." Taeil complained stepping away from the plant, embarrassed. 

 

"So, you decided to follow me?" Winwin asked aghasted, his hand on his hip, the other hand holding his notebook. “Tuesdays are free days and I cannot snatch a liver right now.”

 

"No...I wanted to ask you...if you wanted to go out--NO, like hang out...but I was too shy?"

 

Winwin was taken aback. Taeil was no doubt, the most vicious of the members of NCT and could dismantle and assemble any firearm in his sleep but he was scared to ask Winwin out? What the hell is going on?

 

"Is this a dare? Did Jaehyun put you up to this?” Winwin frowned annoyed. “I’m fine.”

 

"What?" Taeil asked confused as they both stood at the steps of the Museum of Modern Science at Gyeonggi. "No, I want to be here...with you."

 

Winwin sighed, frowning deeply. "Did Doyoung put you up to this because he thinks I'm lonely?" Winwin’s voice was soft and serene, but glittered with a bit of pain. “I’m fine, I promise.”

 

"What? Sicheng, no." Taeil said firmly walking up to Winwin and stopping right in front of the gorgeous male who's eyes looked glossed over behind the reading glasses he wore. "I swear, I just...I just want to spend time with you. I don't think you're lonely, you're just to yourself and quiet and...I really like that." 

 

Winwin's lips ticked into a soft smile before nodding. "OK. There’s a male carrier display that I wanted to check out. Come on, let's enjoy ourselves."

 

It was late in the afternoon, but Taeil quickly found out that he liked that the museum was nearly empty. Taeil easily focused on Winwin who insisted on being Taeil's personal tour guide. Winwin's eyes were bright with nebulas and sunrays as he explained the entire featured exhibit which was all about human anatomy, especially the new addition of the anatomy of male carriers prenatal and postnatal. 

 

"Why do you like anatomy so much?" Taeil asked as Winwin watched longingly at the display that showcased the photoluminescence dots that scatter over the collarbones, wrist and navel of male carriers during their fertility window.

 

"Isn't it cool to see how things work? How we work?" Winwin said softly, his voice like sweetness and joy. Taeil felt his heart race at the happiness Winwin exuded. "We're just sacks of blood, flesh and bone held together by ligaments. If we didn't have ligaments, we wouldn't be held together."

 

"Ligaments?" Taeil questioned and Winwin smiled widely.

 

"Ligaments are the threads that keeps each piece of us together,"

 

A gentle bout of silence fell between them before Taeil broke the silent suddenly and sternly. 

 

"That's how I feel," Taeil nearly shouted, causing Winwin to jump up surprised by the sudden outburst. 

 

"Huh?"

 

"Like...my emotions are ligaments--but instead keeping my internal pieces together," Taeil felt like the words were straining his breath. 

 

He always had the deepest crush on Winwin, but never had the opportunity to gather his courage--but after realizing that everyone had found love and that he was instead holding his emotions in--Taeil couldn't wait around anymore. "I...I want my feelings to latch on to yours, Sicheng."

 

"What do you mean, Taeil-hyung?" Winwin began facing Taeil, who was instead staring at the display, wondering if he'd ever get to see if Winwin had flecks of gold under his skin, wondering if he'd ever even hold the man he desperately loved. 

 

Taeil took a shaky breath, falling in love all over at the sweetly part lips and wonderous eyes as he turned to Winwin and reached his shaky palm over Winwin's against the glass window.

 

"Sicheng, I want you to open me up and figure me out." Taeil exhaled with a nervous tremble, but surprisingly sturdy voice. "I want you look at me the same way you look at veins, arteries, muscles and tissue. Let me be a ligament. Let me piece the two of us together,"

 

Winwin's eyes widened at Taeil's words and swelled up with tears. Winwin never thought that Taeil would ever even consider him as a love interest. Winwin buried his desire for Taeil deep in his heart, believing that Winwin could never compare to anyone in the compound that he was sure Taeil could easily have. Taeil was tall, sly, rude and ruthless but had a painfully sweet side and an angelic voice that one could only hear when it was Taeil's turn to wash the dishes. But now, to hear that Taeil liked him--that he's confessing in the sweetest way made Winwin smile through tears.

 

"OK." Winwin smiled before turning completely to Taeil. "I...I would really like that."

 

They walked back home hand in hand. 

 

Winwin had to admit he was a bit shy about it, but Taeil however had his head held high, his chest puffed out.

 

"You're...uh, pretty happy about this?" Winwin asked as they crossed the busy intersection and Taeil gifted Winwin with a obnoxiously bright smile.

 

"You have no fucking idea, Sicheng. Someone could stab me in the eye and I'd still be this happy."

 

Winwin can feel his skin tinkle as they entered the compound to see that most of the members were asleep or still out and about. Taeil rubs comforting circles on Winwin's palm as they reach his door on the second floor.

 

Taeil suddenly is incredibly timid, almost too afraid to look his crush in the eye.

 

"I...I'm sorry for following you--but I hope you enjoyed your time with me?"

 

Winwin cautiously stepped forward to Taeil, practically in his arms before placing his hands on Taeil's triceps. Taeil felt his willpower melt from his core at the way Winwin slowly glanced from Taeil's lips and back to his eyes.

 

Taeil lets out an unsteady breath before leaning down to kiss Winwin upon his forehead, the gesture warm and gentle.

 

Taeil was satisfied with that, but it was obvious that Winwin was not.

 

Suddenly, Taeil's cheeks were being cupped by warm hands and pulled into gentle lips.

 

Taeil froze at first, not understanding what just occurred, but once the neurons of brain received the signal that this was not a fucking drill--Taeil didn't hesitate to swallow's lips within his own. 

 

Winwin let out an eager moan in appreciation as he swung his arms around Taeil's neck and Taeil busied his grip on Winwin's hips. 

 

Taeil could not believe how soft Winwin's lips were, so plump and irresistible that they were and in tandem with the perfect frame pressed against him. 

 

Taeil was quickly losing the battle. Suddenly, instead of focusing on breathing and staying upright, all Taeil's body wanted to do was bite, suck, _claim_ all that was in front of him in a way that almost scared him. 

 

“Slow down, Winwinnie.” Taeil gasped after pulling back slightly, his forehead pressed against, Winwin's.

 

The latter shakes his head. “I…just a little more, Taeil-hyung.”

 

Holy shit, how the fuck does Winwin make an honorific sound so seductive? Taeil was in trouble. 

 

“I’ll kiss you in the morning, and tomorrow, and however long you want but let’s not spoil it. We have all the time in the world.” Taeil whispered, his lips ghosting over the curve of Winwin's bottom lip. "I _promise_ my lips are gonna find a way all over you."

 

Winwin nods but still kisses Taeil in a way to make him feel fire curl at his insides. Oh, Taeil is already whipped. Taeil giggles before pulling away slowly. "Tomorrow, OK?"

 

"You promise?"

 

Taeil could have fainted due to the cuteness. "Of course, Sicheng."

 

Taeil headed upstairs to his room after leaving Winwin at his doorstep, breathless and pouting. 

 

Taeil opened his door and quickly closed it to let out a stream of giggles and flail his hands around like he was waiting for nail polish to dry in excitement.

 

Taeil was only able to take off his jacket before he heard a series of knocks on his door.

 

Taeil's expression when stoic as he reached behind his back of his jeans to grip the holster of his gun and approached the door cautiously.

 

Taeil roughly opened the door and pointed the gun to see it was Winwin. His eyes were glossed over in lust--pupil's completely blown out, and Winwin didn't even bat an eye as he stepped in, smacked the gun out of Taeil's hand and slammed the door shut. Taeil's jaw dropped as he stuttered.

 

"W-Win--,"

 

"It just turned midnight."

 

Taeil suddenly had an arm full of Winwin and lips crushing his own. Taeil's mind melted instantly and his arms didn't hesitate to wrap around Winwin, feeling his body overheat in a passion that he never thought was possible.

❅

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’d like to dedicate this chapter to my best friend, @_nocturnale. Not only does she beta my fics, she’s also my IRL bestie that fighting breast cancer who helped me get out of this weird bout I had with my writers’ block. Even after she has her chemo, she comes over and harasses me on Twitter and denies her love for Doyoung just to cheer me up. I love you, so much and thanks for being here for me even when I should be here more for you. 
> 
>  
> 
> PS – tag yourself, I’m obviously Markeisha.

**Author's Note:**

>  _lig·a·ment_  
>   
> 
> ˈliɡəmənt/ANATOMY:
> 
> •a short band of tough, flexible, fibrous connective tissue that connects two bones or cartilages or holds together a joint.  
> •a membranous fold that supports an organ and keeps it in position.  
> ✓a thing which unites people or things; a _bond_.
> 
> ^
> 
> Do you like it so far?


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